Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The natural order of things

It is sometimes worth considering the natural order of things and why we do the things we do.

One does not do something to be happy – one IS happy and does something to express it. One does not do something to be ethical – one IS ethical and does something to express those ethical ideals. We don’t need someone else to tell us – this is just part of the natural order of things.

Just take what I heard today. I heard that the owner and founder of the company I work for, an old man, had died. I only met him once and he seemed nice enough but there has been no ‘official’ communication. There was a rumour which a friend of a friend ‘confirmed’. This is just not good enough. While I appreciate the privacy, the grief and the sensitivities of the family, surely there is a responsibility to the employees to keep them in the ‘loop’ as it were, and to keep them informed? I would not have expected a ‘daily bulletin’, or anything of that nature, but something to let me know would have been welcome. I mean I am supposed to be part of a ‘team’ – or so I am told. Not much evidence of this now, is there? But they obviously have their reasons.

Enough of this negativity! I need to move on and thinking of this man’s death leads me to the subject of symbols and rituals. We use them all the time. A symbol is something we use to explain the inexplicable. It is something which our family, or group, or society use to mean something that everyone in the family, group or society understands but cannot really explain. Seeing that a death initiated all this lets use a flame by way of example. Most Western cultures have a ‘Tomb to the Unknown Warrior’ with the symbol of an ‘eternal flame’. To me this symbolises the sacrifice that soldiers make; it symbolises the ‘eternal’ life that can never be fully extinguished while there are people to remember; it symbolises the funeral pyre and is of really ancient origin; it also symbolises the ‘unity’ of Man – that we are all the same – all part of the human race – that the ‘unknown warrior’ is a part of us all.

A ritual on the other hand is used to express the inexpressible and may be a physical event or something we may verbalise – “I wash my hands of you!”- I am no longer concerned about you. Then there are the well known ‘universal’ rituals of Easter and Christmas – the Easter bunny - the hoped for fertility in the growing season of Spring (Northern Hemisphere) and the giving of presents – celebrating the birth of the new year and the return of the sun (again originally a Northern Hemisphere ritual) now taken over by Christianity.

These are just some of the things we find difficult to explain or express and yet they are part of our lives and some are remnants of a half remembered ancient past when Nature, the ebb and flow of the tides and the cycle of the seasons had a deeper meaning than it does for us city dwellers of today. I know there are many other examples of symbols and rituals used by many people around the world.

This is all as it should be and is part of the natural order of things, at least I consider it so. Symbols and rituals help us make sense of the world in our own way.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Ethics and Trust

I wonder what it is about politicians. I certainly don’t trust them a great deal (pollies of either persuasion) and it seems I am not alone in my feelings. The politician’s antics in the Federal Parliament on the hill in Canberra, over the last few days have not shown any of them in a particularly favourable light.

The last Roy Morgan poll (April 2008) rating various professions and occupations for ‘Trust’ and ‘Ethics’ ranks Federal politician (at 17 out of 29) above Directors of public companies, Business executives, State MPs and Talk back radio announcers.

But it ranks them below Bank managers, Public servants and Public Opinion Pollsters.

Nurses, Pharmacist and Doctors are still at the top of the ranking.

These are the people who are supposed to be running our country, policing our borders, sending soldiers to war and maintain the value of the coin of the realm.

It makes you wonder doesn’t it!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Ordinary things

When I write, which I enjoy, I write mainly for myself. I write to clarify my thoughts about something I have read, that I heard about or something I was told.
Often what people tell me – particularly my wife – may turn out to be a ‘home truth’. Now a ‘home truth’, like all of what people say about someone else, is just an opinion or a judgement, often based on limited information.

Some people are greatly offended by ‘home truths’, and yet, apart from an opinion a home truth may be nothing but a self evident fact or a trait, or something else that in some way irritates the observer, the teller of the ‘home truth’. But it is their ‘truth’, not yours.

One partner in a marriage, or someone at work may say to the other, “you are always so untidy,” or “once you start something you never seem to finish it.” This may, or may not be a fact – as the observer sees it. Yet there is always a reason – either the person complained about has different priorities, lacks the necessary skills and does not want to admit it, or has been distracted. There is always a reason which is why a ‘home truth’ is not always valid.

If a ‘home truth’ does hurt it may well draw attention to something which you acknowledge in yourself – for instance that you lack consideration for others (your untidiness), or that you have never been persistent in your endeavours and have never finished anything you started (laziness??). You may acknowledge the veracity of the ‘truth’ but be unwilling to accept it because it does not match your idea about yourself and the image you seek to portray to the world. That is why it is uncomfortable or why it hurts.

The other thing about ‘home truths’ is that they are just opinions and opinions are notoriously unreliable. They depend on the mood, at the time, of the opinionated; on that person’s outlook on life; their education, life experience and so on – generally not reliable indicators of a ‘truth’, home or otherwise.

We make judgements and assumptions based on sometimes very limited information.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Winter Solstice

Tomorrow, 21st June, is the winter solstice – the shortest day in the year. In historic times it used to be a day of significance, particularly in the northern hemisphere, when the solstice is 21st December. It meant the beginning of the ‘return’ of the sun; the beginning of a new year; a renewal; the coming of a new season – hence the celebration of Christmas and the giving of gifts (not called Christmas in those days of course – this was long before Christianity was thought of).

No one today cares and most would not even know the day’s significance, more is the pity. Once we lose our connection with the natural world we lose something precious; that is part of us and what made us what we are; it is part of our heritage.
Of course in ancient times people had time and the inclination (no TV, radio, CDs or DVDs) to really observe nature and the ebb and flow of the tides and changing seasons. It was of vital importance to their supply of food and their well being.

We city dwellers are seldom able to see, with any clarity, the night sky, because of the ‘loom’ of the city lights. We have no time to sit under the stars and contemplate nature and what it means to us. We are diminished as human being by the loss of this vital connection.

Have a happy winter solstice.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

More on my new knee

For those of my many readers who are interested in my personal life history I am pleased to announce that my replaced left knee joint is doing well ( you will recall that I had an operation on 2nd November 2008 to replace an arthritic left knee).

I had a check-up earlier this week and everyone was impressed with my progress. The physio was pleased that I am extending my range of movement to around 116 degrees from a straight leg – I believe that most people, with the knee they were born with, have between 127 and 133 degrees of movement. With a replacement knee they are generally happy if the patient has anything over 90 degrees.

The surgeon was happy. He always admires his handiwork and says that I have a very straight scar, which is true. He suggested that he next sees me in about 6 months time – just past the anniversary.

I just thought you would like to share the good news.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

“But he is a good boy.”

Have you ever wondered how it is that a mother of a boy, or a man, who has committed a serious crime and been convicted and sentenced, can still say of her son “but he is a good boy?” (I speak here of sons as they are far more likely to commit serious crimes than daughters).

I believe that a woman’s insight, or intuition, (and I have a great deal of respect for female intuition), especially if that woman is a mother, is more often than not proved right. Women, in my experience, are more likely to see the ‘essence’ of someone, particularly someone they love. They have an intuitive ‘knowledge’ that their son – no matter what he has or has not done – is still in his deep hearts core a ‘good person’ – still a ‘good boy’!

And this I believe.

I think I can safely say that we all do (or have done) strange, dangerous, even criminal things at times – things which at the time seemed ‘logical’ or ‘fun’ or that were instigated by peer pressure or to gain the ‘respect’ of someone we admire – which we may later regret. Things done, which on reflection may be seen to be foolish or ill judged. Even so our mother’s still love us (I hope).
This is not just a case of a mother being blinded from the truth by love – I sincerely believe that mothers in this regard are correct.

At their core all people are ‘good’; we all want to be liked; to be respected and to be loved. No one ever (and I mean ever) sets out to do something ‘bad’. There is always some perceived advantage, gain or benefit to the perpetrator (even if it is ‘anti-social’ as in theft, physical violence, fraud etc) – otherwise why do it?

As I say all people are basically good. It is just that this basic ‘goodness’ gets overlaid by their ego, by their ideas and especially by their perception of the world as influenced by their education, their upbringing and their life experience. If this is all negative and the person concerned, the son, is becoming anti-social and their ideas about what is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ are different from yours or mine, or what is considered ‘normal’, then steps need to be taken to correct this and to make them aware of the consequences. This is a case for education not necessarily prison.

But the mother is still correct - it is just that her boy got mixed up with the wrong crowd and has been influenced by the wrong person – but he is still a ‘good boy’.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Why we do things

We all want to be liked don’t we? We like to ‘get on’ with our fellow beings. Particularly close relations. Sometimes though we seem to take a perverse delight in annoying or disagreeing with one particular person – shall we pick on mothers-in-law? Now I get on quite well with mine, actually. If she has a go at me I have learned over the years to just switch off and peace, or at least some sort of truce, is maintained this way.

Now, as I was saying (before I got diverted by thoughts of my mother-in-law) we all liked to be liked or respected or admired in one way or another. No one likes to be ‘put down’ all the time. There may however be a conflict of interest at times. Take this morning for instance. In Perth it was a very cold if brilliantly clear 4 or 5 deg C, and there was I, at 8.30am on a Sunday morning, hanging out my grand-daughters clothes to dry on the line – and there seemed a mountain of them. My hands were freezing from handling the wet material. This was not what I would have chosen to do so why was I there? Was it because of a sense of duty? – my wife had arranged to go to church with a friend and was away from the house. Was it because I wanted to be liked by my daughter and to help her? – we are very close as it is and I have no need to ‘prove’ my love for her or to do anything to gain her love. Was it because I seek my grand-daughters love? – not at all, I love them regardless and they are too young to be able to express such fine emotional concepts but they seem to like me anyway.

So why was I there when I would rather be doing my own thing? After some thought about it (and partly because while writing this piece ideas arise) I think it is because I want to feel good about myself. Of course I love my daughter and grand-daughters; of course I have a sense of duty; but more than anything I want to like myself and do the ‘right thing’. That is what is ‘right’ for me. If I had not hung the clothes I would have felt uncomfortable all day – knowing that there was something that had to be done and I ‘failed’ in acknowledging my inner ‘urging’ to do what was necessary and so feel good within myself.

I suppose it is also an ethical thing – helping someone as I would (in similar circumstances) like to be helped (my son-in-law is in the process of repairing their washing-machine). But it is also because of love for my daughter and her family; and love for my wife – saving her from the task when she returned from church.

So there you have it – my good deed for the day! Now I must go and hang our washing (out of necessity) – because my wife has not yet returned from church.

A man’s work is never done!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

By our own authority

How many of us do things, have beliefs or have interpretations of events which we never thought of ourselves – ones accepted by us even though they were given to us by others? This means accepting someone else’s decisions, someone who came before and who, presumably, knows better. Otherwise why accept their decision?

To accept someone else’s decision is to accept their view of what they think our lives should be and how we should live it. In other words (whether we actually like it or not) we conform to someone else’s set of values, someone else’s views of life, not our own. We are not living by our own authority.

Very few of the judgements we make on a daily basis, about what is “right” or “wrong” are made by us, based on our true understanding of the situation as presented. It often seems that the more important the decision, the less likely we are to use our own thoughts and ideas, based on our own experiences. This is particularly so if we, now no longer children, were brought up to always do what we were told by someone we hold as an authority figure – this is denying our own authority. Other people may offer advice, they will certainly have their opinions. But they do not know our problems, they do not know the troubles we have seen nor do they know the effects that our life experience has had on our outlook on life.

When all is said and done we are all Human Beings not just Human Doers. Just doing what others tell us to do, or to think, has not got us very far – in fact it has got us into a great deal of trouble! We are all members of the species ‘Homo Sapiens’ (reasoning man) why not try to live up to the promise of that?

Borrowing strengths builds weakness – we must grow strong ourselves. This means experiencing Life in all its wonder and glory. It means making mistakes; it means failing sometimes; it means falling down; it means getting up and trying again. Remember, we are all wayfarers on the journey along the Road of Life. And we all stumble on the Road. Those who stumble a lot we tend to call bad; those who stumble less we call good. But we all stumble.

This also means that we MUST accept responsibility for our own actions. To do otherwise is a) not honest and b) trying to see ourselves as others see us, or more to the point, as we THINK others see us - the image we think other have of us, which we feel we must live up to, to keep our place in the world. This is a recipe for personal disaster and great anguish.

Living under such mental conditions can only produce a person who is but a ‘shadow’ of themselves; incapable of choosing for themselves; incapable of spontaneous, self directed activities; at best patient, docile, disciplined to an almost pathetic degree, but increasingly irresponsible as their ability to use reason is diminished; finally such a person becomes but a creature governed mainly by their conditioned reflexes. Such a person is not living by their own authority.

Any human beings who have been forced to conform and have accepted a life devoid of thinking, who have been constrained in their ambitions, pride and personal achievements, have resigned themselves to the constriction, even the slow death of the attributes which are the distinctive elements of human life. Applying physical strength, or intellectual energies to please others and to fulfil their ideals, does nothing except reduce us to being a commodity, reducing our scope for happiness and increasing the likelihood of stress and lack of harmony in our lives. It reduces the ability, so needed today to dream of things that never were and ask, “Why not?”

This form of existence is an affront to the human spirit. It offends. This is deeply felt by many and the inevitable reaction to it is rebellion in some form or another. This form of existence is unnecessary and is the cause for much of the mental distress so increasingly evident in our society today.

Anyone in this situation needs the courage, the strength of character to actually look at what they are doing through their own eyes, to see what is actually there, not the view that they have been conditioned to see (by those deemed to be authority figures, or what the political or corporate ‘spin doctors’ want them to see).

To do this we need clear vision and an understanding of our true humanity, our true potential. No one can tell us who we are or what to see and how we should react. We must live by our own authority.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Being a manager

Why is it that so many people are promoted to the role of ‘manager’ without the least experience in managing? Just because you may be a good salesman (or woman) does not necessarily mean you will be a good manager.

Just think about it, being a ‘manager’ requires someone to manage people. This is not easy and requires many skills not the least of which are communications and empathy. A technician ‘manages’ technical matters – equipment and such like; an accountant ‘manages’ the finances and assets of an organization; a chemist may be involved in the chemical constituents of the products manufactured – but who manages the people? It may that a technician or accountant may, with experience, become an excellent manager of people, but this is not a certainty.

Products or services are manufactured or provided by people for other people – the equipment or devices used are there to ease the process of manufacture or to improve the products or services. Man has been making things and providing services for thousands of years with very simple tools, considerable skill and a great deal of patience. Equipment and machinery are not the be all and end all of managing. People are.

It is many years since I went to a ‘show’ – I mean a Royal Show – an agricultural and industrial show. But I do remember buying ‘show bags’ for my children (now parents in their own right) and in those show bags was a strange plasticky stuff. You squeezed it in your hand and it squelched out between your fingers like a soft plasticine or play-dough. Kids loved it. Anyway this stuff is a good analogy for what happens when a person is employed in a position which is uninteresting, mundane, unfulfilling and maybe not very well paid. What happens in many instances is that the essence of who they are, their inner being is stifled and constrained and required to conform to the requirements of the job – hours employed during the day (or night), at a desk or in a position not of their normal choosing staring at a screen – they are squeezed into a position, one they would not normally take, and expected to fulfil the organizations wishes, promote their products or services and, most probably, service the public with a smile. They may be ok in the position for a while but then the pressures get to them and like the ‘show bag’ plasticky stuff there has to be an outlet somewhere, somehow. Otherwise it just pops out in the most unexpected way – anger, frustration, alcohol, substance abuse, general ill health and the big one - depression.

A manager (of people) must learn to see the signs, talk to those concerned and, if the firm is large enough, suggest they move to a more suitable position. If the organization is small, then just knowing that the ‘boss’ understands and is prepared for a little ‘give and take’ makes an enormous difference and makes for a much pleasanter work place.

Not many managers do this; not many are good communicators; not many empathise with their staff, more is the pity.