Things that happen.

As always when I am writing I try to formulate what is in my mind. This, as anyone who has tried, is not always easy. A great deal depends on the state of my mind. Obviously.

The state of my mind is the big question. I think I am ok with that, but questions, possibly unanswerable questions keep cropping up. I know that I am still grieving, but I try not to mourn. Grieving is for me a very personal, private affair and giving “vent” to this in public, by mourning, is something I just could not and will not do.

I’ll talk about my late wife, Magucha, – yes. Whether that might be classified as mourning I’m not sure. She is still very “real” to me even though it is nearly three years since she died.

The thoughts that create questions in my mind are those, deep questions, relating to the meaning of Life (with a capital L) and what, actually, Life is. I mean is Life the result of the chance combination of molecules or bacteria? Are molecules alive? Are bacteria alive? And how can atoms (which are not considered to be alive) when in various combinations form a living organism? Can molecules, in whatever combination,  create Life, think or have emotions? 

It is inconceivable to me that all the love, emotional strength, energy, intelligence and humour, that made Magucha who she was,  her Life, have just vanished, disappeared – into what?

I have searched long and hard to try and find answers. There are none. There is still debate as to whether the Mind and the Brain are one and the same but no one, as far as I can find, has even come close to determining what Life is and how it comes about. 

So I am left with my quandary. I do however subscribe to the view that Life is a continuum. That there are germinations (births) and deaths and that this commenced when the Universe was formed and will cease – well – when it ceases.

Then there is the purpose of our, Human, lives. Things happen and it is up to each of us to learn from Life’s events and to become better people. To me, Human Life has a purpose; a higher purpose and it is up to us, individually, to find our purpose. 

And I do try.

As always I seek solace in poetry and this extract from a longer poem is as good an explanation as any.

Finis Exoptatus (a rough translation - “Desired End”)

Question not, but live and labour

   Till yon goal be won,

Helping every feeble neighbour,

   Seeking help from none;

Life is mostly froth and bubble,

   Two things stand like stone,

KINDNESS in another’s trouble,

   COURAGE in your own.

                                    Adam Lindsay Gordon

Born: October 19, 1833, Faial Island, Portugal

Died: June 24, 1870, Brighton, Victoria
Buried: Brighton Cemetery, Melbourne, Australia.