Life wasn't made to be easy!

Life seems to ebb and flow like the tides but without their regularity. There is happiness; there is sadness; neither of which can be predicted. They happen. Or not. But life continues and all we can do is to stumble along and try to arrive at some point of stability, of normalcy, which is neither good nor bad. Just normal.

So, while many, many millions of people, since humans first walked the earth, have made this journey of Life, it was new to me. I have had to make my own way. Travel my own road. It is a lonely road for it is impossible to travel the identical road with a companion. We may have someone close whom we love – like with Magucha and I, and we were very close – but even then she could not know everything I thought or why I did what I did. In that regard I walked alone and I still walk alone. As did she.

I am an individual. We are not clones. Also we can never “possess” someone in the accepted sense. I believe this is why we grieve for those who have “gone away”, have "gone on ahead" and are "out of sight" - because we could never possess them. We, do however, miss them, grievously miss them. 

But we still all need companionship. After all we are social animals and group together. This, to me, gives rise to a paradox - that we are at the same time, both social beings and yet distinct individuals. We each have our own distinct thumbprint, our own distinct iris pattern in our eyes, our own ear shape and many other individually distinct characteristics.

We do, however, all need someone to talk to, to be a friend. This is why I search, why I enquire – and I always will. 

That death may inspire a deep-seated dread of “extinction,” is I believe quite common, and yet it may be that death is another aspect of Life; an aspect that we may not understand, but which may lead to a completion of our existence into the fullness of being human. We were born – we die. We are human.

In my case, I grieve because I remember that today, 12^th December, in 2015, which was a Saturday that year, was the day that Magucha’s pancreatitis first took hold. I took her to hospital, because of the pain she was suffering, but she never came back. Five weeks later she was dead – on 21^st January 2016.

Many memories.