In praise of praise

We all need praise at some time in our life – which is in effect recognition that we are worthy, creative human beings. For someone who has never been praised; someone who has never had a loving hug and a kiss; someone who has been institutionalised, either as an orphan or for some other reason, this lack of recognition will have severe long term ramifications. All of us will acknowledge the devastating emotional effect that may result from being ignored, rejected or given the ‘cold shoulder’ by someone we admire or would like to make friends with.

In any relationship – at work, family or friends – we need recognition as someone worthwhile, in our own right as a human being. This is why the worst punishment for any person is to be placed in solitary confinement (‘time out’ for a young child has a similar effect). This is to be isolated and have no meaningful contact with anyone. People may be driven insane by such treatment. Lacking meaningful contact and relationships with others of our kind is it any wonder that some, in this situation, resort to alcohol and drugs to dull the pain of non-existent or fractured associations or friendships.

Praise not only recognises us as human beings but also recognises some special feature or behaviour, which shows and others acknowledge, that we, as individuals have risen above the ‘norm’ and done or said something creditable and worthy.

While it is necessary for us to belong in a general sense, and to have a place in society – hence the intense feelings and emotional support given by members to their chosen sports team, their club, gang, tribe or clan - it has to be acknowledged that we are individuals, not clones. We normally conform to our society’s (often unwritten) rules and regulations for security and for general acceptance purposes. Why else do we follow the dictates of fashion; why else do we try to ‘keep up with the Joneses’; why else do we follow society’s mores and moral guidelines, or those of our club or gang?

This ‘requirement’ to conform and to be accepted cannot be carried too far in that anyone who does not conform may be considered eccentric and either ostracized as ‘strange’ or forced to conform, with dire effects on an individual’s psyche. It is a fine balancing act to find the point where one may safely exercise one’s individuality yet at the same time be seen to conform to societies expectations.

This is where praise or some form of acknowledgement is so valuable, and for two reasons. Firstly, it takes someone with courage to stand up for themselves and their individuality against the expectations of their society – this is praiseworthy. Secondly, only a few in the general populace have the insight to recognise the worth and the creativity of someone who is prepared to be different, and, as it were to thumb their nose at convention.

Think about it. Without some praise of individuality, some recognition of a person’s worth, and, most importantly the expression of that praise by way of emotional support (a hug and a kiss) or financial reward or public honour, there would be no inventions; no progress (in a material sense); no innovation in the arts.

Without recognition and praise the substance of human creativity would be still-born. It is really important to praise – judiciously praise – the deserving and the worthy.

Refugees or queue jumpers? Where is our compassion?

I know that many items of news have been reported as important over the past few weeks but none seem to have touched me, and obviously many others, as much as the plight of those who are variously described as refugees, asylum seekers or even as ‘queue jumpers’.

This matter, the refugees etc, is both an ethical and a political issue. The politics of this I will avoid because I really believe that any resolution MUST be based on ethics. The unfortunate people involved have, for a variety of reasons, left their home country and faced severe difficulties in attempting to reach Australia.

It is worth looking at what many of these people are running from. Think of what life would be like in Iraq, in Afghanistan, in Sri Lanka, in Burma or Somalia. These are war torn countries, many with oppressive governments or, in the case of Somalia, no effective government at all. What does life hold for those in these counties, what quality of life, what hope for the future? If I lived in any of these places I would want to leave! In fact I did. Nearly thirty years ago I brought my wife and family to Australia from Zimbabwe – we were, I suppose, what would now be called economic refugees. There were other issues as well of course, the main ones being health and education. I had a wife who needed medical treatment unavailable in Zimbabwe and two young children that I wanted educated in a civilised country. Australia accepted us and as the saying goes the ‘rest is history.’

To get back to the refugees, or whatever you choose to call them, holed up in various boats, ships and islands there is:

Issue number one: If Australia does not want these people to even leave their home country then Australia and the world must ensure that conditions are made pleasant enough, at home, such that they have no real desire to leave.

Issue number two: If conditions at home cannot be made more pleasant then for God’s sake accept them as refugees. Treat these unfortunates as we would like to be treated, with compassion, consideration and kindness.

Think about it. Many countries, over the years have benefited by accepting immigrants. Even Australia!! America accepted, with open arms, all those who were in need – Irish (from the ‘great famine’ days) – and others from all over the world. And America is now the greatest country in the world (I am no great ‘lover’ of America and things American but I must give credit where it is due). Sure it has suffered a few setbacks and has more than a few shortcomings but then which country hasn’t? It is this diversity of peoples that gives America a vibrancy and an energy which is palpable.

We Australians seem to have lost sight of something – that Humanity is paramount. Being human is what binds us together. We are all human and should treat others the way we would like to be treated - with compassion, consideration, kindness and understanding. This is ethical way. This is the only way. What can be more important than having a good relationship with our fellow beings?

We are, after all, supposed to be a civilised, Christian country, living and upholding Christian ideals, morals and values. I wonder if we are?

Having some spare time.

Now that I have completed the first part of my exams, (for a BSc. in Psychology – still only first year!) I feel more at ease and under less pressure. I still have another in about two weeks but I do now have some spare time. This means I can now re-commence my writing and committing my thoughts to ‘paper’, as it were. It is actually a relief – I enjoy writing! It seems to have a calming effect on me. I get quite anxious if I don’t manage to find some time to write at least a few words. With writing I can collect my thoughts, express my ideas and hopefully, sometimes be creative and thought provoking.

The fields I prefer to write about, ‘Ethics and Life’, cover just about anything you can think of – so I have plenty of scope. There is always some ethical or life matter that needs to be written about.