Thursday, May 30, 2019

The Wheel always turns.

The Wheel of Life that is. It turns on its axis regardless of what we, mere humans, do. Of course the largest of all “wheels” are the galaxies – unbelievably large “wheels” with billions of stars rotating majestically in, shall I say, their preordained manner. 

Always there are patterns, events, all manner of things seem to return to what was there before (or almost). Even the entire universe, it seems, will one day cease expanding and start contracting – presumably back to what it was before – nothing!

Where tides always ebb as they must flow; where the seasons change as they have always done; where day always succeeds night; when a salmon must always return to the same river in which it was born, to spawn - these are in their own way rotating wheels of similar events. 

Of course to us humans Life and Death is the most important “wheel” of all. Where a child is born or a man lies dead, Life continues. This is portrayed so well by Shakespeare in “As you like it” (Act II Scene VII):-

Lord Jaques:-

“All the world’s a stage,
And all men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts, 
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in his nurse’s arms.
And then the whining school boy, with his satchel,
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like a pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin’d,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloons,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose well sav’d, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
A second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

So there it is. Wheels within wheels – not like clockwork – far above anything so mechanical. People and things must always obey the rules and regulations by which they were created. 

It cannot be otherwise.

Thursday, May 9, 2019

A letter.

9thMay, 2019.

My dearest Pardalito,

I write this message of love on what would have been your 66thbirthday, on this level of existence. So I am not sure exactly how to proceed. 

That you are aware of my love and my grief, I am certain. That we are parted by what is called death, is self-evident. At times you seem close yet at the same time I know you are very far beyond my touch, beyond speech, beyond anything I can do except express my love.

Because love conquers all (that I truly believe) – because love transcends time, distance and death - this letter is for you, my little one.

Happy Birthday!

There are so many things I would love to tell you (but I hope and believe you are aware of them in any event); so many things I would have liked to do together with you on this day. You always loved the combination of trees and water – be it next to a stream, river or lake. And flowers. I would have liked to take you to those places we have been to, many times before.

Also it is only now that I can appreciate the amazing “green thumb” that you had. I have to work hard to get any plants or flowers to grow at all. Anything you planted and tended always thrived. I believe it was the love you expressed for all living things that the plants seem to understand and which they returned, with interest, with their beautiful flowers and scents.

And the sea. I have spent some time today, eating my lunch on the South Mole, in Fremantle. You loved that spot. Remember when we used to go there every Saturday for our lunch? We had the children with us then – Rob and Caroline. They were much younger of course, in those far off days, and used to spend much of their time clambering over the large blocks of concrete that made up the seaward side of the Mole. And chasing the seagulls! 

I miss all that, I really do.

I always loved the way the gulls soar in the currents of the euphemistically called “sea breeze”. The “Fremantle Doctor” often blows with almost gale force!! Today though, it’s quite calm – in fact a really beautiful day.

It’s always the little things that I remember – they linger - long after. Like in the mornings when I was up, always before you, preparing my breakfast and I would hear a plaintive little voice from the bedroom, “Is any one home?” or, occasionally, “Nobody loves me!” That would be the signal for me to prepare your breakfast.

I miss the sound of your voice, I really do. And, of course, your (hard earned and seldom given!) hugs and kisses too!! 

But always I return to a longing for the touch of your hand – your “pata” – in mine as we walked along, or resting on my knee when in the car and I was driving. Just that touch.

I miss that too, I really do.

I could go on, and on – but I know that you are, in that “special place”, fully aware of what is in my mind – at least that is what I fondly hope and believe.

So I will now end this letter with a poem - this is really for me, expressing, in a small way what I have to do, even though it will not easy – from a little book of poetry compiled by the late Field Marshall, Earl Wavell, called “Other Men’s Flowers”:-

Wisdom? 

“For this is Wisdom; to love, to live,
To take what Fate, or the Gods may give,
To ask no question, to make no prayer,
But to kiss the lips and caress the hair,
Speed passion’s ebb as you greet its flow, -
To have, - to hold, - and, - in time, - let go!”

            From “The Teak Forrest” by Laurence Hope.

So once again – Happy Birthday my Little One.  And thank you for all the wonderful memories.

I love and miss you. Lots.