Grieving

We all need to grieve – not just over the death of someone we love – but for other things as well. Obviously to lose a pet is a cause for grief as is the loss of a friend. In these cases we need to grieve, to gather our strength, to re-assess our new situation without that person or pet. What I am talking about here is the loss of something close to each of us, something that we hold dear, something that has been a constant, that we have taken for granted, at least in our own mind.

I am talking about something which we may have considered as part of us, our make-up, our psyche, some characteristic, some trait which makes us, us. If this particular trait or characteristic is criticised or diminished in any way, or if it is realized to be, or pointed out to be, somewhat inappropriate and we recognize the truth of the matter then a change takes place, whether we want it or not. It is an immediate change and comes as a shock to the system. We immediately feel we have lost something – something we had previously considered as important.

Take my case for instance. I recently became very angry with someone I love dearly and who is my best friend. There had been some disagreement over a relatively trivial matter (as is usual in life’s relationships). This gradually, over the course of a few days, grew into something far greater than it really was. As I say I became very angry and it was not entirely what I said but the manner in which it was said, that has caused the repercussions.

As has been repeatedly stated in what I write, for every effect there was somewhere a cause. We can never know what string has been pulled or what thread has been severed and where the effect of the pulling or the severing will be felt. But felt it will be – somewhere and at sometime. There have been so far two repercussions that I have keenly felt. One and by far the most important one is that I sense the relationship with my friend has grown slightly more distant – still friendly and a loving relationship but not quite so warm. There is a lack of spontaneity and a slightly more cautious approach – from both my friend and myself.

The other repercussion is one that is of lesser importance but keenly felt none-the-less. It is about my temper. I have always striven, generally successfully, to control my temper. I am a human being and have always known that I had a temper and that if I let slip the leash, it will become a very bad temper. Now I may be exaggerating, but I don’t believe I have lost my temper more that about three or four times in my life. One of the reasons I try to control it is because when I really loose it and see red (and I do actually see red – my attention is totally focused by what appears to be a narrow tunnel, with the object of my anger at the other end) I feel physically ill for some time afterwards. The other, and more important point, is that I am afraid of what I might do to the person I am angry with – if I totally lose control, what will (or what can) I do? I don’t know.

I have written about the pointless of anger many time – it never solves a problem – only causes more! So now I have not only hurt a friend, which grieves me, but I have also, finally and at last, recognized the foolishness of getting angry – anger is toxic (to me at least) and has severe repercussions on innocent parties to the detriment of all.

The realization that control over my anger was always merely a front, to appear to be calm and in control, is difficult for me to appreciate and to learn. Yet the only thing that I have damaged in myself is my ego. I am now, in some small way, not what I thought I was. I am not diminished in any way – in fact I may now be a better person. But I feel the loss. This is where the grieving comes in.

I will grieve about, and do my best to repair, the relationship with my friend, and over time I feel sure that a new and stronger relationship, based on a new understanding and stronger ties will eventuate. That is what grief is for – to grow and become stronger from the grief.

My ego? Oh well I am sure it will recover fairly quickly as ego’s tend to do. I will justify the “loss” in whatever way seems appropriate and again, I am sure, I will be a better person from the loss!!

Dangers of using FENAC

Gee! One has to be so careful about what drugs you take and be self aware – know yourself – to see what side effects they may have.

Take my case for instance. I have been taking FENAC, a widely diagnosed anti- inflammatory, for a month or two, to control the pain in my arthritic left shoulder. There are thirty (yes, 30) listed side-effects. The ones that I noticed on myself where a bit of confusion and some disorientation with a change of mood – I felt a bit depressed. So I read the information from the Alphapharm Pty Limited website (the makers of FENAC) and there it was, and I quote, “If you are over 65 years of age, you may have an increased chance of getting side effects. .......

• confusion, disorientation

• change in mood such as feeling depressed, anxious or irritable.”

The Chemist never told me about these side effects – nor did my Doctor. LESSON ONE – never just accept what a doctor or a chemist tells you. Learn to read your body. It is your body so don’t give control over it to some stranger.

So now you know – be warned. I have now thrown away the FENAC tablets I had not used and will now use nothing except possibly some milder substance such as (occasional) use of paracetamol.

Consequences.

There are always consequences for anything we do. These consequences cannot be avoided or limited in any way – each one of us feels the effect of these, both negative and positive, on a daily basis. We do ‘good’ things and good things happen; we do ‘bad’ things and bad things happen.

The thing is that we can never, or at best very seldom, tie any specific action or behaviour or sequences of actions or behaviours, to any particular consequence or sequence of consequences. There are some obvious ones certainly – aim a gun at someone and pull the trigger and there is a very good likelihood of injuring or killing them; spend more money than you earn and you end up in debt. These are brutal, up front, in your face type consequences. What I am talking about are the subtle ones that are not immediately obvious; the ones that may take years to work their way through the ‘system’ as it were.

Take two current problems the World is facing at the moment, which are consequences of activities, actions, behaviours and thought patterns that go back many years – generations in fact. The first one is ‘climate change’ and the second is the Middle East (Israel, Gaza, Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan).

Now whatever you think about the science behind the various claims and counter claims supporting or denying Man’s involvement in this debate one fact (to me) is obvious. We CANNOT continue to despoil, pillage and exploit the resources of the world as we are doing at the present moment. We cannot continue doing what we are now without suffering consequences of some sort. More of the same will be disastrous – there will be consequences we cannot predict but only sense.

I know that climate change – natural change – has always been a feature of geological time; ice-ages, extreme volcanic activity playing havoc with weather patterns and such like. This is natural and I have no argument with this – we can’t do anything about it anyway – it just happens and we (here we go) have to live with the consequences. My point is that by doing nothing we are not HELPING nature, the World, the Gaia, or whatever you call it, to recover naturally. And it will recover naturally – with time but we are not giving it that time.

Exploitative human activity is damaging the Nation and ‘our’ World to the detriment of all.

• Soil degradation. Much of our precious topsoils is either blown away (dust storms) or washed away (soil erosion) each year. Poor environmental planning and farming practices are the cause.

• Excessive use of chemical fertilizers. Because of the soil degradation more and more chemicals are being used which produce foods that are not as nutritious as they should be. They are deficient in essential minerals.

• Water. The essential element for life on earth. In the case of fresh water, in quantity, storage and quality, improvements are vital for the future health of the Nation and the World.

• Industrial activity. In the quest for ever increasing profits enormous quantities of toxic and polluting substances are being pumped into the atmosphere, the soil and water (both fresh and salt) of our Nation and the World. Huge tracts of land are being cleared of trees and other vegetation for what – profit?

These are just a few aspects of the immensely complex and interwoven matrix which I consider comes under the umbrella of ‘climate change’. We are in a position to do SOMETHING (my preferred option) rather than NOTHING (as advocated by the sceptics). Just think about it, even if, as some of the sceptics believe, the world is getting colder, not hotter, how will this help? It will just herald a new dark-age with shorter growing seasons.

From an economic point of view I suspect we are going to suffer, one way or another. This will be the consequence of thoughtlessness, of greed and the extreme capitalistic ideal of ‘profit’, no matter the cost (in the lives of all flora and fauna and economic cost).

Now for the second big problem – the conflict in the Middle East. This goes back a long time. Without going into a detailed history of the region one could really consider the problem as being the consequence of the collapse of the Ottoman Empire (after the First World War) and the British withdrawal from India (and Pakistan) and Iraq and the West’s interference in Iran and Palestine. The immediate cause, I suspect, is the false idea that the ‘West’ can impose its will, its ideas and its manner of living on peoples who trying to work out their own responses to their environment and to world events.

To think, even for a moment, that peace will be established by the production of greater numbers of ever more complex weapons is madness. Most of us have still to learn that peace is not external, but an internal state, that then translates to all things external. How can there ever be peace if nations or groups of people are constantly thinking about and preparing for war? How can there ever be peace if people are constantly thinking violent and warlike thoughts? It is never going to happen.

A cessation of violence or truce may be established if someone or some nation subdues another by being stronger or having a bigger and better army. But that is not peace. Think of the Korean conflict in the 1950s and how about the various Israeli/Palestinian conflicts. There has never been peace in these areas. We need to think ‘outside the box’ and use our accumulated wisdom in a rational, measured and reasonable manner.

There is no peace because the underlying problem has never been addressed – injustice, perceived or actual, is at the root of most conflicts and will be the root of the Middle East and the Korean problems. Sort out the injustices (perceived or otherwise) and the reason for the violence is removed. There is nothing that rankles and festers in the mind as much as injustice. If individuals have a feeling they have been hard done by and bear a grudge because of this then, rightly or wrongly, they will feel justified in fighting (as they may think) to redress the injustice.

In praise of praise

We all need praise at some time in our life – which is in effect recognition that we are worthy, creative human beings. For someone who has never been praised; someone who has never had a loving hug and a kiss; someone who has been institutionalised, either as an orphan or for some other reason, this lack of recognition will have severe long term ramifications. All of us will acknowledge the devastating emotional effect that may result from being ignored, rejected or given the ‘cold shoulder’ by someone we admire or would like to make friends with.

In any relationship – at work, family or friends – we need recognition as someone worthwhile, in our own right as a human being. This is why the worst punishment for any person is to be placed in solitary confinement (‘time out’ for a young child has a similar effect). This is to be isolated and have no meaningful contact with anyone. People may be driven insane by such treatment. Lacking meaningful contact and relationships with others of our kind is it any wonder that some, in this situation, resort to alcohol and drugs to dull the pain of non-existent or fractured associations or friendships.

Praise not only recognises us as human beings but also recognises some special feature or behaviour, which shows and others acknowledge, that we, as individuals have risen above the ‘norm’ and done or said something creditable and worthy.

While it is necessary for us to belong in a general sense, and to have a place in society – hence the intense feelings and emotional support given by members to their chosen sports team, their club, gang, tribe or clan - it has to be acknowledged that we are individuals, not clones. We normally conform to our society’s (often unwritten) rules and regulations for security and for general acceptance purposes. Why else do we follow the dictates of fashion; why else do we try to ‘keep up with the Joneses’; why else do we follow society’s mores and moral guidelines, or those of our club or gang?

This ‘requirement’ to conform and to be accepted cannot be carried too far in that anyone who does not conform may be considered eccentric and either ostracized as ‘strange’ or forced to conform, with dire effects on an individual’s psyche. It is a fine balancing act to find the point where one may safely exercise one’s individuality yet at the same time be seen to conform to societies expectations.

This is where praise or some form of acknowledgement is so valuable, and for two reasons. Firstly, it takes someone with courage to stand up for themselves and their individuality against the expectations of their society – this is praiseworthy. Secondly, only a few in the general populace have the insight to recognise the worth and the creativity of someone who is prepared to be different, and, as it were to thumb their nose at convention.

Think about it. Without some praise of individuality, some recognition of a person’s worth, and, most importantly the expression of that praise by way of emotional support (a hug and a kiss) or financial reward or public honour, there would be no inventions; no progress (in a material sense); no innovation in the arts.

Without recognition and praise the substance of human creativity would be still-born. It is really important to praise – judiciously praise – the deserving and the worthy.

Refugees or queue jumpers? Where is our compassion?

I know that many items of news have been reported as important over the past few weeks but none seem to have touched me, and obviously many others, as much as the plight of those who are variously described as refugees, asylum seekers or even as ‘queue jumpers’.

This matter, the refugees etc, is both an ethical and a political issue. The politics of this I will avoid because I really believe that any resolution MUST be based on ethics. The unfortunate people involved have, for a variety of reasons, left their home country and faced severe difficulties in attempting to reach Australia.

It is worth looking at what many of these people are running from. Think of what life would be like in Iraq, in Afghanistan, in Sri Lanka, in Burma or Somalia. These are war torn countries, many with oppressive governments or, in the case of Somalia, no effective government at all. What does life hold for those in these counties, what quality of life, what hope for the future? If I lived in any of these places I would want to leave! In fact I did. Nearly thirty years ago I brought my wife and family to Australia from Zimbabwe – we were, I suppose, what would now be called economic refugees. There were other issues as well of course, the main ones being health and education. I had a wife who needed medical treatment unavailable in Zimbabwe and two young children that I wanted educated in a civilised country. Australia accepted us and as the saying goes the ‘rest is history.’

To get back to the refugees, or whatever you choose to call them, holed up in various boats, ships and islands there is:

Issue number one: If Australia does not want these people to even leave their home country then Australia and the world must ensure that conditions are made pleasant enough, at home, such that they have no real desire to leave.

Issue number two: If conditions at home cannot be made more pleasant then for God’s sake accept them as refugees. Treat these unfortunates as we would like to be treated, with compassion, consideration and kindness.

Think about it. Many countries, over the years have benefited by accepting immigrants. Even Australia!! America accepted, with open arms, all those who were in need – Irish (from the ‘great famine’ days) – and others from all over the world. And America is now the greatest country in the world (I am no great ‘lover’ of America and things American but I must give credit where it is due). Sure it has suffered a few setbacks and has more than a few shortcomings but then which country hasn’t? It is this diversity of peoples that gives America a vibrancy and an energy which is palpable.

We Australians seem to have lost sight of something – that Humanity is paramount. Being human is what binds us together. We are all human and should treat others the way we would like to be treated - with compassion, consideration, kindness and understanding. This is ethical way. This is the only way. What can be more important than having a good relationship with our fellow beings?

We are, after all, supposed to be a civilised, Christian country, living and upholding Christian ideals, morals and values. I wonder if we are?

Having some spare time.

Now that I have completed the first part of my exams, (for a BSc. in Psychology – still only first year!) I feel more at ease and under less pressure. I still have another in about two weeks but I do now have some spare time. This means I can now re-commence my writing and committing my thoughts to ‘paper’, as it were. It is actually a relief – I enjoy writing! It seems to have a calming effect on me. I get quite anxious if I don’t manage to find some time to write at least a few words. With writing I can collect my thoughts, express my ideas and hopefully, sometimes be creative and thought provoking.

The fields I prefer to write about, ‘Ethics and Life’, cover just about anything you can think of – so I have plenty of scope. There is always some ethical or life matter that needs to be written about.

Father Time - On growing old (or older).

Some people have a fear about growing old. They try to ignore it or fight it with every means at their disposal. We can see this in the plethora of programmes on TV showing how people go about getting a personal ‘make-over’ and teams given seven days to get someone to look ten years younger, and such like. The only ones who really benefit from all this are the medicos, advertisers and the TV stations.

The trouble is this is a losing battle and a ‘fight’ that can never be won! We all grow old. This is just an inescapable fact of nature. Some, particularly women it seems to me, may find this difficult to accept but inevitably they will grow old – and, with time, they will show it. Why not just accept the inexorable passage of Time? It was not called Father Time for nothing. Time has to be respected, in fact respect is demanded on pain of death!

We all have a mental image of what we look like; possibly how we would like to appear, to both ourselves and others. We all try to look our best - for us. But it is how we feel that makes the difference, and is what really counts in the long run.

I have found that the older I become, my expectations alter accordingly. I know there are certain activities I am no longer capable of doing, at least not to the same level of enthusiasm and ability as before. I know that I no longer have that grace and fluidity of movement that is part of being young. My muscles, certainly, are not as strong as they used to be; my tendons have lost much of their elasticity and my joints have stiffened somewhat and now I have my recently replaced knee joint – made from titanium. But I certainly do not feel ‘old’ – whatever that is supposed to feel like. My mind is still quite active and I hope to keep it that way by studying (psychology in my case) and writing as much as I can.

Age also has the benefit of allowing hindsight – I have nearly eight decades of experience to draw upon. Age also mellows expectations; life no longer has that intensity and urgency of youth. In the great scheme of things, if something does not happen today, or tomorrow, does it really matter?

There is another benefit that comes with age; age, in most cases, brings with it some wisdom; some ability to see further into life’s situations and to accept them for what they are. One learns to understand that everything has its place in the creation and what is more important, everything comes to pass; even life itself.

Peace of mind comes with this acceptance.

To me a good life consists of living for each day, being content with my lot (whatever ‘hand of cards fate has dealt’ me), not trying to change the world to suite my reduced capabilities but to adapt to the situation or circumstance as it is presented.

Most important of all time must be spent in developing and maintaining good relationships with family and friends – what and where would we be without them! It goes without saying that part of building and maintaining relationships is helping others, as best one can, to understand what life means, particularly children, because they are the future.

It would be a pleasing and satisfying thought, for me, if my life’s work may have contributed, in some small way, to my leaving this world a better place than I found it when I was born – right in the early years of the Second World War! But I am not building up my hopes too high!!

Studying

The past few weeks have been quite difficult. I am studying for my end of year exams and I have had a particularly onerous assignment to write. Never having written ‘academically’ before I find the constant need to make sure that everything I write has a citation and that I make sure it is properly referenced, rather irksome.

Please don’t think that I am not against plagiarism. I think plagiarising someone else’s work is abhorrent. The trouble is that I have read so many books on so many subjects over the years that when I write it just comes tumbling out. Most times I can remember where I first read something important; I can remember the book and sometimes even the part of the page that it appeared on (left hand page or right hand page) – it is WHERE in the book that I find difficult to remember. Also, over the years I seem to have assimilated by osmosis, or something, a great deal of information. After many years have passed, having to source the original can be very trying, to say the least.

In this regard I admit that I find Google Scholar very useful. It is amazing what information is on the web and how easily and quickly Google Scholar can find it. I am not talking about general stuff but scholarly, research type information.

But to get back to my point about finding that everything needs to be cited. This is a good discipline, I suppose, but very irksome and, quite frankly frustrating. It is certainly a challenge and inhibits the free flow of my thoughts. From an academic point of view it is important that I get used to it and learn to keep notes (with references!) for every topic or subject I feel is important or that may be useful.

It is still a pain!!

Promoting Jesus?

I was staggered to read in the Weekend Australian (26/27 September 2009) that a group of fifteen Christian denominations are about to launch a $1.5 million campaign to ‘promote’ Jesus.

Isn’t Jesus the ‘Son of God’, the creator of all that exists? Why does he need to be promoted? It seems a bit presumptuous – for us, human beings that God created, to ‘promote’ our creator. Anyway Jesus is not a ‘commodity’; Jesus is not a product. Jesus does not sell anything. Neither should Christianity. Didn’t Jesus condemn the money changers operating out of the synagogues (the ‘churches’ of his time)? So what are these people trying to do? Are their congregations diminishing; are their church coffers nearly empty and they are tired of scraping the barrel and need to recruit more members? The trouble is a belief, a faith, cannot be ‘sold’. It is not a one size fits all thing. The very fact that there are fifteen, out of God knows how many Christian denominations and faith based groups, emphasises my point. Everyone has their own interpretation of the central message that Jesus tried to pass on to his followers.

Now I have no desire to become involved in any discussions about religion (they inevitably become acrimonious) because as I said before, it is a very personal thing, and we all have our own interpretations on what it all means and how it affects us. But to me, and this is my own interpretation of what the central message is, has been quite plainly given to us by Jesus (and I paraphrase here using language from the King James translation):

• Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy mind and with all thy soul.

• Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

• Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

If one could follow and live by those three basic tenets or ‘commandments’ then I believe one would lead a ‘good’ life and die a contented and peaceful person. Apart from this I have never understood one of Christianity’s beliefs – that we should put all our individual problems on to the shoulders of one ‘person’ – Jesus.

To me Jesus is the intermediary between us humans and God. As humans, with our mental cognitive limitations, we are incapable of comprehending the total Majesty of the Creator of all. I think the best ‘description’ I have ever read of this Majesty is in the Bhagavad-Gita (I quote from Chapter 10, and selectively from verses 20 to 34):

“... I am the Self, seated in the hearts of all beings; I am the beginning and the life, and am the end of them all.

Of all creative Powers I am the Creator, of luminaries the Sun; the Whirlwind among the winds, and the Moon among planets....

I am the King-python among snakes, I am the Aqueous Principle among those that live in water, I am the Father of fathers, and among rulers I am Death....

I am the Beginning, the Middle and the End in creation; among sciences I am the science of Spirituality; I am the Discussion among disputants....

Of letters I am A; I am the copulative in compound words; I am Time inexhaustible; I am the all-pervading Preserver.

I am all-devouring Death; I am the Origin of all that shall happen; I am Fame, Fortune, Speech , Memory, Intellect, Constancy and Forgiveness...

I am the Seed of all being; ... no creature moving or unmoving can live without Me.
Whatever is glorious, excellent, beautiful and mighty, be assured that it comes from a fragment of my Splendour.

... I sustain this universe with only a small part of Myself.”

We just cannot comprehend all this so we need someone, a figure, an intermediary between God and us; we need something to focus on; that we can look up to and aspire to emulate, such as Jesus, or Mohamed, or Krishna, or the Buddha that will show us the path to follow.

Does this need promoting? I don’t think so.

Suicide!

Why is it that in all western countries suicide is considered either as a crime or that the person concerned is mentally deranged? Suicide is the result of a choice someone has made. Now I am neither promoting suicide, nor do I personally agree that is ever necessary to take your own life – but then I have never found myself in a situation which would lead me to believe that continued living was not worth while. I have never been in a situation where I had to make a choice between possibly stark alternatives; living under what are perceived to be intolerable conditions or taking my own life. Maybe if I was I would think differently.

Regardless, however, of a person’s views on life, why is suicide considered a crime or as the result of a mental problem? First up I believe many Christians will say it is selfish and against God’s will. How do they know this for a fact? Didn’t God give us free will? Free will, as I understand it, means that we can make up our own minds. Surely God would not, on one hand, give us free will and then on the other hand restrict our free will by ‘saying’ that we can’t do this or that? That is being hypocritical and I cannot believe that God is a hypocrite.

Anyway, how do we know what God actually said? Or how he said it? I believe the religious argument goes something like this – God gave us life, it is therefore not up to us to end it as we can have no idea, in the big picture, of the consequences or outcomes of someone ‘prematurely’ taking their own life. We are not supposed to try to double guess God’s plan.

I would counter this argument by saying that, if it is agreed that God did give us free will, is it not possible that someone’s suicide may be part of His plan? We just don’t know and I believe that continued discussion, based on religious ideals is fraught and likely never to be resolved.

Also it is a matter of degree, even semantics. I am not sure of the chapter or verse in the Bible, but somewhere it says (more or less), “Greater love hath no man than this; that he should lay down his life for another”. In English folk lore the self-sacrifice of Capt. ‘Titus’ Oates (a member of Capt Scott’s ill-fated1912 Antarctic expedition), when he walked out into a blizzard after uttering the famous words, ‘I may be some time’, is considered a ‘noble’, selfless act. He laid down his life so that the others might have a better chance of surviving. It may have been a ‘noble’ act yet it was still suicide!

And then how about those who cannot face life and get drunk every night, to hide their pain and anguish, thus drinking themselves to death. Their death might take 10 or 20 years to accomplish, so it is slow – but surely this is still suicide? This slow death is tolerated by our society even though those concerned (rather obviously) may have no real desire to live.

Then there is the argument that those who either attempt suicide or are actually successful must be mentally deranged. Those who follow this line of thought suggest that anyone who cannot appreciate the beauty of the world and cannot see their individual purpose in the great scheme of things must be mentally unstable. Well I have news for them! The last figures I saw, from the Australian Bureau of Statistics, suggest that about 1 in 5 Australians (19% actually) suffers some degree of mental instability sometime in their life. These figures are similar to those for most Western, developed countries.

So either the diagnosis of ‘mental’ problems is suspect or there are a great many very unhappy people in the world. I suspect that the diagnosis of ‘mental’ problems is the ‘problem’. This is why I am studying psychology – I want to find out for myself where the ‘problem’ lies.

Of course there is another view (the sociological view) that goes something like this; that suicide represents a loosening of social bonding; that suicide is an indicator of society’s potential disintegration and therefore must be prevented, opposed and resisted at all costs. This where I believe the criminal element has come from.

To get back to my original proposition – that suicide is a choice – and no one, repeat, no one, can tell a person how they should react to an event or circumstance in their life. I personally don’t think I would ever commit suicide (famous last words!!) because I firmly believe that every problem has a solution; maybe not the solution, or outcome that is wished for or desired, but a solution none-the-less. To me someone who either commits suicide or tries to is neither a criminal nor mentally deranged, but just someone who is finding it difficult to cope with their present circumstances and is crying out for help.

All suicide is neither a criminal act nor is it the result of mental derangement and all ‘prevention’ efforts should be directed at alleviating and addressing this cry for help.

The word 'gay'

The word ‘gay’ is a perfectly good English word meaning a person who is carefree, happy and light-hearted and has been used in poetry and song. In earlier days it has no connection at all with homosexuality or lesbianism. I will admit it is an irritation to me that I can no longer use the word ‘gay’ in its original sense (I would not use it very often, but it is a useful word to have around). I mean if I had to say to my wife or friends that “Today I am feeling gay”, they would make some rude or disparaging comment about my sexual orientation. And yet I could quite legitimately say that – meaning I am feeling carefree, happy and light-hearted - which is a wonderful feeling.

Apparently round about the 1950s (according to my ‘ word bible’ the Oxford English Dictionary) things changed and the word ‘morphed’ into meaning what it does now – with homosexual connotations. The way these things happen is very mysterious.

This all came to my mind as, out of the blue (which frequently happens to me), I recalled that the British Royal Navy, in the 1950s, named some experimental Motor Gun Boats with the word ‘Gay’ as part of their name. One I seem to remember was called the “Gay Bombardier”. These were experimental in that they were the first (and possibly the last) boats to run entirely with gas turbine engines. They were very fast and, before the age of guided missiles, relatively heavily armed.

How things have changed! No one, today, would dream of calling a war ship ‘gay’ would they? I mean, Jeez, what is the world coming too?

Charity begins at home!

Charity, they tell us, begins at home. This is the Christian ideal and the various religious institutions promote this. For instance the church my wife attends has recently asked for contributions from the congregation to fill shoe boxes for needy children in Africa. A splendid cause you say, and so it is. The idea is to give a Christmas present to some child in Somalia, or wherever, and to give them some hope that someone, somewhere, actually cares about them.

But how about the ‘needy’ children in our own backyard? In Australia, a very wealthy country, we are in the midst of a highly controversial ‘intervention’ programme designed with the aim of improving the health and social well being of the Aboriginal communities in the outback – principally in the Northern Territory.(Even the word ‘intervention’ smacks of paternalism, doesn’t it?). By any measure the Aboriginal has been poorly treated over the generations of ‘white’ rule from Canberra. Their health standards are Third World as are their living conditions and, almost without exception, the communities they live in are dependent on government welfare payments. Yet they have no running water, limited access to electricity and no sewage and waste facilities, very limited health services and no education facilities to speak of. How can there be any confidence, from anyone, that without consultation with those concerned (i.e. the communities themselves) that their lot will ‘improve’ and to redress many of the wrongs, both actual and perceived, that occurred in the past, some of which are still occurring now?

No wonder the incidence of substance abuse, violence, self harm and suicide are amongst the worst in the world – and this in a developed G20 country. There are variously considered to be about 400 000 Aboriginals in Australia out of a total population of some 21 million. And yet to help these people – our people, who have live here for over 40 000 years – requires ‘intervention’ from all the Federal Governments agencies even including the military!

An ‘intervention’ is all very well in principle but what is it actually doing to ‘help’ the people involved? Many questions remain unanswered. For instance will the intervention restore confidence and self esteem? Will it promote acceptance by mainstream Australia or does it further relegate them to continuing marginalisation? Will it help to restore some semblance of pride in tribal culture, language, oral history, traditions and their association with the land and their place in the world? Above all does give it give individuals any hope for the future? Will the intervention bring about any sense of ‘belonging’ so essential for general wellbeing? Will it alleviate the feeling of rejection from main stream Australia?

Bureaucrats, divorced as they are from people in general and from the land, do not have a good record in this area, so I have grave doubts that any lasting good will come from this intervention.

And yet my wife’s church leaders are asking for contributions to bring cheer to the ‘underprivileged’ in other countries?

As I said at the beginning, charity begins at home.

Paying the Ferryman

What is the cost of ‘life’ to high achievers? What is the cost of ‘life’ to those who strive to reach their self appointed goals? What is the cost of ‘life’ to those women who opt for a career before all else?

I do not decry nor am I judgemental about their choice. That is their call and good luck to them. But they must never forget that to get to where they want to go they will have to pay a price – they will have to pay the ferryman (fate?). And the ferryman will demand recompense – this payment cannot be avoided and it is always paid in kind – they will reap their crop, like it or not. They will have to accept the consequences – and there are always consequences for everything we do or think or plan.

If you disregard your well being (body and soul) or someone else's well being, in fact if you disregard anything, to satisfy your own selfish ends the threads that entangle us all in the web of life will, eventually trip you up and bring you down. That is unless you conduct yourself in an ethical manner.

I know that you have heard this all before somewhere in this blog but it astounds me that some people always forget and try and please themselves at someone else’s cost. I have been thinking about this quite a bit recently after seeing the ABC’s 4 Corners programme on TV about one Bilal Skaf and his younger brother who, some years ago now, by mobile telephone, organised the pack rapes of some unfortunate girls in various Sydney suburbs. Eventually caught, Bilal seems, on the face of it, to be in a state of denial. He seems to think that he is above any need to be held accountable for anything he does. He can’t understand all the bother about raping these girls. They were white trash - sluts, and deserved what they got. He has done nothing ‘wrong’ in his eyes.

The Skaf’s mother seems also to be in a state of denial – in her eyes it is all an anti-Muslim conspiracy and her two boys would never do anything that they have been accused of doing. The father was away much of the time working to support the growing family so could not give his guidance and emotional support to the boys. So it must have been her who filled Bilal’s mind with stories about the lax morals of Australian girls – no one else was there to do it. And like many strong willed mothers she wanted the best for her sons and did not want them mixed up with such ‘trash’.

No one ‘deserves’ anything of this nature. This case was an absolute tragedy for all concerned. The Skaf brothers and their accomplices have got their just deserts and the victims and their families can now move on in the knowledge that for at least another twenty-five years the Skafs will no longer be a danger to the public.

It is so sad. The victims will need all the support the community can give for many years to come. Likewise the actions of this boy – he was just a boy at the time – have tarnished the image of Islam and the Lebanese community. It is necessary to distinguish between the fact that he came from a Muslim tradition (which is a noble tradition) and the fact that he organised and was a participant in pack rapes. There is no correlation between the two. Certainly there are good and bad Muslims, just as there are good and bad Christians, but because Bilal is a Muslim this did not cause him commit rape. Christians have been involved in pack rapes as well.

He is a human being who needs a great deal of help – I firmly believe that no one is beyond help or is too depraved ever to feel remorse and try to redeem themselves. But at the moment he is paying the ferryman good and proper.

Alzheimer’s disease

Husband and wife have been to see a doctor about their apparent loss of memory. The doctor suggests they start writing things down.

Back home wife says to husband, “Will you get me some ice-cream? You had better write it down.”

Husband, “No need to write it down – some ice cream.”

Wife, “Yes but I also want it with strawberries. Write it down.”

Husband, “No need to write it down – ice cream and strawberries.”

Wife, “Better write it down because I also want it with cream.”

Husband, now getting cross, “I don’t need to write it down – I can remember, you want some ice-cream with strawberries and cream.”

Husband comes back with bacon and eggs.

Wife to husband, “Where’s the toast?”

ESP

Most people, I believe, will have an opinion about extra- sensory perception (ESP) or psychic phenomena. I also believe that a person’s views will be either a ‘Yes. I believe’ or a ‘No. I don’t believe.’ It would be difficult to be in a ‘maybe’ position.

Most of the ‘no's’ would be of the opinion that there is no scientific evidence for the existence of ESP and would take a 'You can’t prove it, therefore it doesn’t exist,’ type approach. I understand this but because many scientists have a silo mentality regarding their particular discipline they are unable, or unwilling to see outside their particular box and therefore miss or overlook the signals from other disciplines.

Think of it this way - we have all heard of the famous Einstein equation E=MC2, which I understand means that ultimately, matter and energy are the same – matter is energy and energy is matter. Now energy can be measured (I think), by an oscilloscope in a wave form. If this is correct then everything, all matter, including humans, is giving out energy waves all the time. We humans then are transmitting these waves even now – thoughts, bodily heat and (I am sure) other forms of energy that I know nothing about.

If energy waves can be measured by a machine then why is it not possible to contemplate that human beings (and other life forms) could equally ‘receive’ this energy and ‘measure’ it by way of Extra-Sensory Perception – I mean it is the same energy after all? We casually use the phrases like “I picked up his vibes” or “I had bad vibes about that,” or “She is a good person to be around – she makes me happy”, so we all actually have a sense of this ‘energy’. There are many stories about domestic animals being ‘aware’ and sensitive to ESP and there are many people who at least claim to have this ability.

I have written before that I had an ESP experience, many years ago now, which is still vivid and comforting. The trouble is it would be impossible to recreate, in a laboratory, the exact situation, circumstance, mood and emotion that ‘created’ the ambience which ‘allowed’ the psychic event to occur.

This is the ‘scientific’ problem but it does not mean that ESP does NOT exist.

Injustice revisited

I am going to start with a quote from Leo Tolstoy’s book “A confession”, wherein he said, “The least productive attitude is that by which a person regards themselves as being a self motivated being, who exists in the world solely for the purpose of attaining the greatest possible personal well being, irrespective of the degree of suffering this may cause to others.”

How true this is. And it doesn’t matter if this attitude is adopted by individuals, companies and organizations, groups, religions, societies or by countries – the effect and the distress caused is the same. This attitude breeds arrogance, injustice, lack of compassion, racism and a general intolerance.

Tolstoy was writing in the 1870s and particularly about conditions in the Tsarist Russia of his generation but his comments fit perfectly many of the conditions experienced today by a significant number of people - just think of the conflicts and injustices between Christians and Muslims, Christians and Jews, Catholics and Protestants, Shia Muslims and Sunni Muslims, white and black peoples, Israel and Palestine, the ‘big four’ banks in Australia and the rest of the population, the Tamils and the government of Sri Lanka, the Chinese Government and the Tibetans, the minority Muslims the Uyghur people and then the Falun Gong religious sect, etc, etc, etc.

And then think of us individuals. I mean how many times have I spoken to someone in a totally uncalled for manner and said thoughtless and hurtful things? Many more times than I like to remember I’m afraid, and all to what purpose? To ‘please my ego? To save ‘face’? How puerile. But I suppose that is life – we have all done and said things we later regret all because we ignore or have forgotten the Golden Rule “Treat others the way you would like to be treated.”

What we share with a banana

Some of you may know of my interest in psychology and the why and the how of the human mind.

My study of psychology, to date, has not convinced me that it is anything other than a pseudo-science. Shoot me if you like but as far as I am concerned trying to reconcile the objective, the human body (which is a bundle of atoms and molecules) – with the subjective, the life essence itself, thoughts and emotions (which can only be guessed at) is fraught. To me such a reconciliation cannot be done. To do so you will have to convince me that the brain and the mind are one and the same thing (as far as I am concerned they are not).

The body is a physical entity that can be touched and measured whereas thoughts and emotions and the very essence of life itself are but ‘objects’ of pure speculation. They cannot be seen, touched or measured in any way.

To emphasise what I mean I have learned, from my text book, that we share half our genes with the humble banana. Where does that place psychology!!

Pre-what?

There seems to be a wide use of the term ‘pre-warned’ in Australian English. This, I assume, means to warn someone BEFORE they are warned! With normal English usage someone is ‘warned’ that an event or situation may arise – this is perfectly understandable and to my way of thinking a ‘correct’ use of language. But to ‘pre-warn’ them? This makes no sense at all.

I am no Latin scholar but I do think that I have a reasonable grasp of the English language. Now as far as I know ‘pre’ is from Latin meaning ‘before’ or something that comes in ‘front’ of a word to give that word a different meaning and has come into the English language with the same meaning. Hence the words ‘prefix’ (ie. in front of a word), ‘pre-empt’, ‘precursor’, ‘pre-adult’ etc. So to place the prefix “pre’ before the word ‘warning’ is, I don’t know – an oxymoron maybe? It is certainly superfluous and unnecessary.

So why use it? I will refer to my dictionary to confirm all this.

I stand corrected after referring to my English Language bible!! I will always admit an error (see my halo?)

The Oxford English Dictionary (henceforth the OED) states under ‘pre’ that ‘pre-warn’ is a rare usage and means to give advance warning of an event. Of course there is the perfectly good term ‘forewarned’!!

But I still stand by my original comment that ‘pre-warn’ is not good English (hence the ‘rare’ comment by the OED). And I stand by my comment that a warning is a warning and that an advance warning or to be forewarned is still a warning – that however one is warned a warning is a warning. Also that pre- or advance- or fore- are all superfluous. A warning is sufficient. No?

What do you think?

The Goose with the golden eggs

I have said this before, but I wonder at the fact that people never seem to learn from the past. We seem to have to re-invent the wheel when it comes to our relationships with others and our ethical conduct.

I am particularly commenting on the ABC TV Four Corners programme screen this evening (27th July) about the education college scam.

Some 3000 years ago in Greece a freed slave called Aesop collated hundreds of wise and pithy comments saying and stories which have come down to us as Aesop's Fables. They are as true today as they were then - human nature does not seem to have changed a bit does it?


Aesop’s fable (CIV)

The goose with the golden eggs


Their was once a man who was lucky enough to own a goose that laid him a golden egg every day. However, since the process was so slow and since he wanted the entire treasure at once, he became dissatisfied and eventually killed the goose. After cutting her open, he found her to be just what any other goose would be.

Moral:- The more you want the more you stand to lose

Be suspicious of what you want

Many non-Muslims (like me) may have never heard of Rumi. He was a poet and a mystic in the Sufi tradition. He was born 30th September 1207 in Balkh, Afghanistan and died on 17th December 1273 (I think in Konya, Turkey).

Rumi must have been a great man – many people, and not just Sufi Muslims, read his works today. Some of his poems are great fun. He obviously had a great irreverence for life and his union with God – life was fun and there to be enjoyed!

I think this quote is worth repeating (I am using a translation of his poems by Coleman Barks called ‘The essential Rumi’):

From something called ‘On Resurrection Day’ –

On Resurrection Day your body testifies against you.
You hand says, “I stole money.”
Your lips, “I said meanness.”
Your feet, “I went were I shouldn’t.”
Your genitals, “Me too.”

That is so good! I wonder how many of us can relate to that verse?

In another poem he writes:-

I plot to get what I want
And end up in prison.

I dig pits to trap others
And fall in.

I should be suspicious
of what I want.


How very true! To me this just shows that no matter who we are and what culture we were born into we are basically the same – members of the species Homo Sapiens. Those born centuries ago had more time to observe human nature and think about why we get into the trouble we often find ourselves in.

Today we are rushed and so have little time for contemplation; so little time to read the lessons learned by others – more is the pity.

Our ego and us

We all know an Autocrat, the ‘controller’. We all know a person who is always right, who knows everything, who has an opinion on everything and who’s way of doing things is always the best and only way. But I wonder if such a person is ever at peace within him/her self? To be constantly aware of what others are doing – so that they may be corrected, because you are sure they will inevitably do something wrong – must be very tiring. It must wear the person down.

There will never be peace, anywhere, until people have ‘peaceful’ minds and ‘peaceful’ thoughts. How can it be otherwise? Peace will never eventuate from warlike and violent thoughts or actions. Look, I don’t just mean international peace. I include in this term peace from ALL violence – domestic, civil, social, sectarian and international and I would include in this our predilection to anger when crossed or thwarted. We are all of us guilty of this one at times.

I know that it would be naive to believe that there will ever be a time when everyone has ‘peaceful’ thoughts – it will never happen, the human condition being what it is. But why should we accept this deplorable state of affairs? Why SHOULD there be violence; why SHOULD there be so much anger? What is the purpose and what does it serve? So what if we are thwarted in our endeavours; so what if others don’t have the same goals in life as we do – why get angry or violent about it? I do not believe that there can ever be any ‘benefit’ from anger or from violence – that these two are a complete waste of time and energy, both of which would be better spent elsewhere.

Is it possible for most of us to have peaceful thoughts? I am sure it is.

It maybe that there is a ‘tipping point’ such that when the majority of people have ‘peaceful’ thoughts then there is more likely to be peace than otherwise (which is logical I suppose - and somewhat of a blinding glimpse of the obvious). So what does it say about the general thought content of the average person that there is so much violence and lack of ‘peace’ in the world? It would appear, that as a world, we are some distance away from that ‘tipping point’!!

Anger I believe arises from our egos. When our ego (our idea of who we are) tells us that it has been diminished in some way – that we have been shown up as a lesser person than our ego allows for – then anger may arise. A very typical example is road rage – say someone cuts in a queue of cars and immediately pushes us one vehicle further from the ‘feeder’ arrow at the intersection. Our immediate reaction is to think “Who does she think she is pushing in like that? I am just as important as she is – bloody female driver!” (Or whoever – I am NOT anti-female please believe me!). Anger arises and we activate the horn in no uncertain manner and also give the finger and generally show that we are extremely displeased.

Can you relate to this? But does it really matter? Maybe the woman is an unemployed single mother who has an urgent appointment to meet with a potential new employer – a reasonable enough excuse, don’t you think? But no! Our ego tells us that it has been diminished and slighted and that this slight must be redressed in some way. Less than charitable thoughts arise and anger and violence, that inevitably accompany such thoughts, always intervene and turn a tricky situation into a possibly violent one. All for what – just to please the ego?

In a perverse way lack of peace may be considered as a positive! Having an ‘unpeaceful’ mind may lead someone to re-appraise their perceptions and ideas which may lead to innovations in human relations or helping those less fortunate or in medicine or to innovations in any field of human endeavour.

There is always a positive to be found somewhere – even when the ego is involved!

Tall Poppy Syndrome

We never seem to learn do we – "we" as in the human race I mean. Something like 2500 years ago Herodotus, the Greek historian (born c 484 BC and who died sometime between 421 and 415 BC) stated in his famous “The Histories” that:

“It is always great buildings and the tall trees which are struck by lightning. It is God’s way to bring the lofty low.... For God tolerates pride in none but Himself.”

He was referring to humans and how we try to gain some, often unfair, advantage over our fellow being. This is of course usually in the context of money (what’s new?). Herodotus also recorded that the Greeks had astutely observed the fact that:

“Human prosperity never abides long in the same place.”

To my way of thinking all human life has one purpose and one only – the well being of humanity. And I wonder whether all the technological advances we have made, and continue to make, on an exponential growth pattern, actually do HELP humanity. Money is very useful in this regard if used to assist those in need – to purchase their requirements. But do we need huge arsenals of weapons; do we need to spend countless billions on developing new or more ‘refined’ ways of killing each other? Wouldn’t it be much better to spend this money trying to right some of the wrongs and injustices of the past, to the extent that those who may have felt they had been treated unjustly or in some other way wronged, feel compensated and have no need to take further action?

The three basic requirements of humanity seem to be slipping further out of the reach of many – adequate food, adequate shelter and personal security. These still seem to elude the one billion people (according to the World Health Organization) currently at the point of starvation, who often live in the most hazardous regions – particularly South America, Africa, the Middle East and South East Asia. So what are the wealthy doing about it?

As I said before the purpose of human life is to help humanity. Why aren’t we doing it? There is enough food thrown away in the developed countries to feed all those in need. Are we those “great buildings and the tall trees” to be laid low by God because He “tolerates pride in none but Himself?” To consider oneself ‘above’ or ‘better’ than others, who are starving with lack of shelter and without any personal security, is surely ‘pride’; is surely ‘hubris’.

This, surely, is pride asking for a fall?

Also consider the observation that “Human prosperity never abides long in the same place.” It would seem that not many in Wall Street read Herodotus or if they did they didn’t think it would apply to them – they cared for no one but themselves and the money they were ‘making’ through their obscene commissions (vide the 2008 Global Financial Crisis). Certainly, I would guess, the Australian banks and insurance companies thought they were above all this ‘nonsense’ – how wrong they were (they also obviously never read Herodotus).

If you follow my thinking that as humans our main purpose in life is to help our fellow beings you will understand my continual reference to the "Law" of Cause and Effect (or if you prefer, You Reap What you Sow), and to the importance of ethics in our relationships. It is needful to be always fair, honest, kind, compassionate, empathetic, moderate and just in all our dealing. To be anything else is to invite the Gods to cut you down to size and to ‘bring the lofty low’.

In colloquial English - call this the ‘tall poppy’ syndrome – and in Australia at least we seem to take a perverse pleasure in seeing the ‘self promoted mighty’ laid low and cut down to the size of normal human beings.

Injustice revisited

I have previously written about the injustices perpetuated by the Israeli’s against the Palestinians and particularly those in Gaza. These continue and the recent change of Government in Israel will not, I fear, alter this deplorable situation a great deal. Again this is autocratic governance and tyranny to maintain the status quo, to the ‘benefit’ of the Israelis. Again all in the name of God, (Yahweh) – all above board, apparently, because the Israeli’s use their army to enforce their autocratic rules and because we have been told, by the Israeli’s or course, that the Israeli army is the most moral (and presumably ethical) army in the world.

While I certainly abhor the terror tactics used by Hamas and others of that ilk, I also strongly believe that Israel is wrong to use the methods they do.

Then there is North Korea, Burma, Zimbabwe and of course China, to name but a few of the current countries with dubious records, all tyrannies and in the case of North Korea, Burma and Zimbabwe, basket cases as well.

But there is no need to look far afield. We have injustice at home. The Aborigine has been shockingly treated – the history of abuse (shot, chained and flogged), neglected (health and education) with virtually no representation (the Australian constitution was changed only in 1967 to allow full citizens rights) suffered by the original inhabitants of Australia is appalling. And don’t forget that the Aborigines in Tasmania were exterminated with official sanction. In Tasmania they had survived 12500 years isolation (since the melting of the last ice age inundated Bass Straight) to the 18th Century, but were all dead within about 200 years – how is that for injustice.

Also don’t forget the abuse of women and children in Australia – those who are most vulnerable. The Australian Bureau of Statistics publishes figures measuring the extent of violence (physical and sexual) against women which is quite shocking (the figures do NOT show other forms of abuse – emotional, social, financial etc). Would you believe that 23% of women who have ever been in a long term relationship have experienced violence at some time during the relationship? Or that 42% who had been in a previous relationship had suffered violence from that previous partner? And so it goes on.

Now why? Why would any sensible person want to commit a violent act, of any sort, against someone they purport to love? And someone who, to boot, is weaker and more vulnerable than they are?

I have been looking for any statistics (which I have yet to find - which i will soon) to prove it, but I feel sure that much of this violence is alcohol induced. This of course is a whole new subject of its own – I mean excessive consumption of alcohol.

Alcohol, as with all things, in moderation is ok. But when one drink leads to another and another, and there is a predisposition to anger or violence then the can of worms is exposed and innocent people suffer.

All this injustice, both national and individual, for what – pleasure? An ego trip? Control and/or ‘power’? Human nature is fascinating isn’t it, though sometimes for all the wrong reasons.

The Chinese Take Over

What will happen when China recovers from this current economic malaise first and overtakes the US as the largest functioning economy in the world? I make a prediction (based on nothing but a gut feeling) that by 2030 China will surpass the US as the largest economy in the world.

I know that this is a bold prediction. But I was correct about a much easier one – the US invasion of Iraq. At that time I wrote to the US Embassy and asked them to pass on a message to Bush that he would live to regret his invasion, that it was wrong – whatever the motives. I never got a reply - which I never expected anyway.

This time I base my prediction on trade and population. The US has about 305 million people and China about 1.3 billion. Much of the US’ previously unassailable position was based on intellectual property, manufacturing and exports. Now their exports are declining – they have ceded much of their manufacturing might to the Chinese – who make most of the world’s electronic and white goods and clothing. And the Chinese are learning fast so their intellectual capabilities are expanding rapidly. The Chinese also control much of the worlds cash reserves (the US has none!) and cash, as always, is king. In fact the Chinese are bolstering the US economy by holding trillions of dollars worth of US Treasury bonds.

No one likes what the Chinese have done to Tibet, nor how the communist regime tries to control the general population – it tries to control access to the internet, it controls the number of children any family may have (which is causing a huge gender imbalance). But the Chinese Government does have an agenda – they wish to raise the standard of living of their people as quickly as possible.

I also base my prediction partly on an article written many years ago now by Lt General John Glubb, known also as “Glubb Pasha” (a British general who commanded the Arab Legion before and after the Second World War) for Blackwood, an British monthly magazine. He called his article “The Fate of Empires” in which he determined that the average empire survived for 250 years. He went back in time to the ancients and followed the creation and fate of empires through to the 20th Century.

Generalising a great deal one could say that the British Empire lasted from about 1750 to about 1950 – say 200 years. Glubb stated that the Americans were slightly different in that they never had much of an ‘external’ empire and that theirs was rather an ‘internal’ empire. The American continent was so rich in resources, internally, that they never (until recent times) had to look abroad for resources to feed their economic growth. So now taking 1776 as the start of the American ‘empire’ and, while they are obviously not finished yet, taking my, predicted, date of 2030 as a cut-off, that makes 254 years.

No matter when the American’s lose their control of the world economy – and they will eventually, they will find it difficult to play second fiddle to anyone. Particularly if they are treated the way they have treated others over the years.

More on Injustice

I have written before on this but I want to say some more about injustice. Injustice is a pervasive cancer and a blight on the lives of many and a major impediment to peace in the world. Wherever there is autocratic governance, wherever there is tyranny and terror, wherever there in uncertainty - whatever generates fear - there you will find injustice.

Why and for what?

It is all about “power”. It is all about the “prestige” that accompanies power, and of course it is all about ego. Power gives the impression that the powerful are “better”, are “different” from the rest of society and therefore “deserve” the panoply that goes with the power and the position.

But as the Romans said two thousand years ago “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely”. So power leads to corruption, which cascades down the line to injustice, to uncertainties and because no one knows what to expect next – this leads to fear. And fear gives the “powerful” a greater sense of their power which leads to more injustice, more fear and ultimately to terror and tyranny, in a fairly predictable sequence of events.

Those who are autocratic, those who terrorize and create an atmosphere of fear have the most to lose and they know it – think Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, and currently the Burmese Junta and Mugabe (just to name a few). States ruled by terror never last. Those in ‘control’ live increasingly isolated lives for fear that their own lives may be cut down in one way or another - the immutable law of cause and effect will always prevail – they will reap what they sowed. It has always been this way and can be no other. This is justice balancing out the injustice by taking out the instigators of the original injustice – even though it may take a significant period of time – justice will prevail.

The recent tragic events still unfolding in Iran are a case in point. The Iranian ‘Guardian Council’ is there, principally, to ensure that those in power remain there. It is also there to, presumably, keep the Islamic faith intact and pure. But who determines what ‘purity’ means? So to keep themselves safe and to maintain the faith this Guardian Council pays a militia (which is above the law) to kill, maim and create fear – all presumably in the name of God, of Allah the Merciful.

One can only wonder at the mentality of these people and despair.

The natural order of things

It is sometimes worth considering the natural order of things and why we do the things we do.

One does not do something to be happy – one IS happy and does something to express it. One does not do something to be ethical – one IS ethical and does something to express those ethical ideals. We don’t need someone else to tell us – this is just part of the natural order of things.

Just take what I heard today. I heard that the owner and founder of the company I work for, an old man, had died. I only met him once and he seemed nice enough but there has been no ‘official’ communication. There was a rumour which a friend of a friend ‘confirmed’. This is just not good enough. While I appreciate the privacy, the grief and the sensitivities of the family, surely there is a responsibility to the employees to keep them in the ‘loop’ as it were, and to keep them informed? I would not have expected a ‘daily bulletin’, or anything of that nature, but something to let me know would have been welcome. I mean I am supposed to be part of a ‘team’ – or so I am told. Not much evidence of this now, is there? But they obviously have their reasons.

Enough of this negativity! I need to move on and thinking of this man’s death leads me to the subject of symbols and rituals. We use them all the time. A symbol is something we use to explain the inexplicable. It is something which our family, or group, or society use to mean something that everyone in the family, group or society understands but cannot really explain. Seeing that a death initiated all this lets use a flame by way of example. Most Western cultures have a ‘Tomb to the Unknown Warrior’ with the symbol of an ‘eternal flame’. To me this symbolises the sacrifice that soldiers make; it symbolises the ‘eternal’ life that can never be fully extinguished while there are people to remember; it symbolises the funeral pyre and is of really ancient origin; it also symbolises the ‘unity’ of Man – that we are all the same – all part of the human race – that the ‘unknown warrior’ is a part of us all.

A ritual on the other hand is used to express the inexpressible and may be a physical event or something we may verbalise – “I wash my hands of you!”- I am no longer concerned about you. Then there are the well known ‘universal’ rituals of Easter and Christmas – the Easter bunny - the hoped for fertility in the growing season of Spring (Northern Hemisphere) and the giving of presents – celebrating the birth of the new year and the return of the sun (again originally a Northern Hemisphere ritual) now taken over by Christianity.

These are just some of the things we find difficult to explain or express and yet they are part of our lives and some are remnants of a half remembered ancient past when Nature, the ebb and flow of the tides and the cycle of the seasons had a deeper meaning than it does for us city dwellers of today. I know there are many other examples of symbols and rituals used by many people around the world.

This is all as it should be and is part of the natural order of things, at least I consider it so. Symbols and rituals help us make sense of the world in our own way.

Ethics and Trust

I wonder what it is about politicians. I certainly don’t trust them a great deal (pollies of either persuasion) and it seems I am not alone in my feelings. The politician’s antics in the Federal Parliament on the hill in Canberra, over the last few days have not shown any of them in a particularly favourable light.

The last Roy Morgan poll (April 2008) rating various professions and occupations for ‘Trust’ and ‘Ethics’ ranks Federal politician (at 17 out of 29) above Directors of public companies, Business executives, State MPs and Talk back radio announcers.

But it ranks them below Bank managers, Public servants and Public Opinion Pollsters.

Nurses, Pharmacist and Doctors are still at the top of the ranking.

These are the people who are supposed to be running our country, policing our borders, sending soldiers to war and maintain the value of the coin of the realm.

It makes you wonder doesn’t it!

Ordinary things

When I write, which I enjoy, I write mainly for myself. I write to clarify my thoughts about something I have read, that I heard about or something I was told.
Often what people tell me – particularly my wife – may turn out to be a ‘home truth’. Now a ‘home truth’, like all of what people say about someone else, is just an opinion or a judgement, often based on limited information.

Some people are greatly offended by ‘home truths’, and yet, apart from an opinion a home truth may be nothing but a self evident fact or a trait, or something else that in some way irritates the observer, the teller of the ‘home truth’. But it is their ‘truth’, not yours.

One partner in a marriage, or someone at work may say to the other, “you are always so untidy,” or “once you start something you never seem to finish it.” This may, or may not be a fact – as the observer sees it. Yet there is always a reason – either the person complained about has different priorities, lacks the necessary skills and does not want to admit it, or has been distracted. There is always a reason which is why a ‘home truth’ is not always valid.

If a ‘home truth’ does hurt it may well draw attention to something which you acknowledge in yourself – for instance that you lack consideration for others (your untidiness), or that you have never been persistent in your endeavours and have never finished anything you started (laziness??). You may acknowledge the veracity of the ‘truth’ but be unwilling to accept it because it does not match your idea about yourself and the image you seek to portray to the world. That is why it is uncomfortable or why it hurts.

The other thing about ‘home truths’ is that they are just opinions and opinions are notoriously unreliable. They depend on the mood, at the time, of the opinionated; on that person’s outlook on life; their education, life experience and so on – generally not reliable indicators of a ‘truth’, home or otherwise.

We make judgements and assumptions based on sometimes very limited information.

Winter Solstice

Tomorrow, 21st June, is the winter solstice – the shortest day in the year. In historic times it used to be a day of significance, particularly in the northern hemisphere, when the solstice is 21st December. It meant the beginning of the ‘return’ of the sun; the beginning of a new year; a renewal; the coming of a new season – hence the celebration of Christmas and the giving of gifts (not called Christmas in those days of course – this was long before Christianity was thought of).

No one today cares and most would not even know the day’s significance, more is the pity. Once we lose our connection with the natural world we lose something precious; that is part of us and what made us what we are; it is part of our heritage.
Of course in ancient times people had time and the inclination (no TV, radio, CDs or DVDs) to really observe nature and the ebb and flow of the tides and changing seasons. It was of vital importance to their supply of food and their well being.

We city dwellers are seldom able to see, with any clarity, the night sky, because of the ‘loom’ of the city lights. We have no time to sit under the stars and contemplate nature and what it means to us. We are diminished as human being by the loss of this vital connection.

Have a happy winter solstice.

More on my new knee

For those of my many readers who are interested in my personal life history I am pleased to announce that my replaced left knee joint is doing well ( you will recall that I had an operation on 2nd November 2008 to replace an arthritic left knee).

I had a check-up earlier this week and everyone was impressed with my progress. The physio was pleased that I am extending my range of movement to around 116 degrees from a straight leg – I believe that most people, with the knee they were born with, have between 127 and 133 degrees of movement. With a replacement knee they are generally happy if the patient has anything over 90 degrees.

The surgeon was happy. He always admires his handiwork and says that I have a very straight scar, which is true. He suggested that he next sees me in about 6 months time – just past the anniversary.

I just thought you would like to share the good news.

“But he is a good boy.”

Have you ever wondered how it is that a mother of a boy, or a man, who has committed a serious crime and been convicted and sentenced, can still say of her son “but he is a good boy?” (I speak here of sons as they are far more likely to commit serious crimes than daughters).

I believe that a woman’s insight, or intuition, (and I have a great deal of respect for female intuition), especially if that woman is a mother, is more often than not proved right. Women, in my experience, are more likely to see the ‘essence’ of someone, particularly someone they love. They have an intuitive ‘knowledge’ that their son – no matter what he has or has not done – is still in his deep hearts core a ‘good person’ – still a ‘good boy’!

And this I believe.

I think I can safely say that we all do (or have done) strange, dangerous, even criminal things at times – things which at the time seemed ‘logical’ or ‘fun’ or that were instigated by peer pressure or to gain the ‘respect’ of someone we admire – which we may later regret. Things done, which on reflection may be seen to be foolish or ill judged. Even so our mother’s still love us (I hope).
This is not just a case of a mother being blinded from the truth by love – I sincerely believe that mothers in this regard are correct.

At their core all people are ‘good’; we all want to be liked; to be respected and to be loved. No one ever (and I mean ever) sets out to do something ‘bad’. There is always some perceived advantage, gain or benefit to the perpetrator (even if it is ‘anti-social’ as in theft, physical violence, fraud etc) – otherwise why do it?

As I say all people are basically good. It is just that this basic ‘goodness’ gets overlaid by their ego, by their ideas and especially by their perception of the world as influenced by their education, their upbringing and their life experience. If this is all negative and the person concerned, the son, is becoming anti-social and their ideas about what is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ are different from yours or mine, or what is considered ‘normal’, then steps need to be taken to correct this and to make them aware of the consequences. This is a case for education not necessarily prison.

But the mother is still correct - it is just that her boy got mixed up with the wrong crowd and has been influenced by the wrong person – but he is still a ‘good boy’.

Why we do things

We all want to be liked don’t we? We like to ‘get on’ with our fellow beings. Particularly close relations. Sometimes though we seem to take a perverse delight in annoying or disagreeing with one particular person – shall we pick on mothers-in-law? Now I get on quite well with mine, actually. If she has a go at me I have learned over the years to just switch off and peace, or at least some sort of truce, is maintained this way.

Now, as I was saying (before I got diverted by thoughts of my mother-in-law) we all liked to be liked or respected or admired in one way or another. No one likes to be ‘put down’ all the time. There may however be a conflict of interest at times. Take this morning for instance. In Perth it was a very cold if brilliantly clear 4 or 5 deg C, and there was I, at 8.30am on a Sunday morning, hanging out my grand-daughters clothes to dry on the line – and there seemed a mountain of them. My hands were freezing from handling the wet material. This was not what I would have chosen to do so why was I there? Was it because of a sense of duty? – my wife had arranged to go to church with a friend and was away from the house. Was it because I wanted to be liked by my daughter and to help her? – we are very close as it is and I have no need to ‘prove’ my love for her or to do anything to gain her love. Was it because I seek my grand-daughters love? – not at all, I love them regardless and they are too young to be able to express such fine emotional concepts but they seem to like me anyway.

So why was I there when I would rather be doing my own thing? After some thought about it (and partly because while writing this piece ideas arise) I think it is because I want to feel good about myself. Of course I love my daughter and grand-daughters; of course I have a sense of duty; but more than anything I want to like myself and do the ‘right thing’. That is what is ‘right’ for me. If I had not hung the clothes I would have felt uncomfortable all day – knowing that there was something that had to be done and I ‘failed’ in acknowledging my inner ‘urging’ to do what was necessary and so feel good within myself.

I suppose it is also an ethical thing – helping someone as I would (in similar circumstances) like to be helped (my son-in-law is in the process of repairing their washing-machine). But it is also because of love for my daughter and her family; and love for my wife – saving her from the task when she returned from church.

So there you have it – my good deed for the day! Now I must go and hang our washing (out of necessity) – because my wife has not yet returned from church.

A man’s work is never done!!

By our own authority

How many of us do things, have beliefs or have interpretations of events which we never thought of ourselves – ones accepted by us even though they were given to us by others? This means accepting someone else’s decisions, someone who came before and who, presumably, knows better. Otherwise why accept their decision?

To accept someone else’s decision is to accept their view of what they think our lives should be and how we should live it. In other words (whether we actually like it or not) we conform to someone else’s set of values, someone else’s views of life, not our own. We are not living by our own authority.

Very few of the judgements we make on a daily basis, about what is “right” or “wrong” are made by us, based on our true understanding of the situation as presented. It often seems that the more important the decision, the less likely we are to use our own thoughts and ideas, based on our own experiences. This is particularly so if we, now no longer children, were brought up to always do what we were told by someone we hold as an authority figure – this is denying our own authority. Other people may offer advice, they will certainly have their opinions. But they do not know our problems, they do not know the troubles we have seen nor do they know the effects that our life experience has had on our outlook on life.

When all is said and done we are all Human Beings not just Human Doers. Just doing what others tell us to do, or to think, has not got us very far – in fact it has got us into a great deal of trouble! We are all members of the species ‘Homo Sapiens’ (reasoning man) why not try to live up to the promise of that?

Borrowing strengths builds weakness – we must grow strong ourselves. This means experiencing Life in all its wonder and glory. It means making mistakes; it means failing sometimes; it means falling down; it means getting up and trying again. Remember, we are all wayfarers on the journey along the Road of Life. And we all stumble on the Road. Those who stumble a lot we tend to call bad; those who stumble less we call good. But we all stumble.

This also means that we MUST accept responsibility for our own actions. To do otherwise is a) not honest and b) trying to see ourselves as others see us, or more to the point, as we THINK others see us - the image we think other have of us, which we feel we must live up to, to keep our place in the world. This is a recipe for personal disaster and great anguish.

Living under such mental conditions can only produce a person who is but a ‘shadow’ of themselves; incapable of choosing for themselves; incapable of spontaneous, self directed activities; at best patient, docile, disciplined to an almost pathetic degree, but increasingly irresponsible as their ability to use reason is diminished; finally such a person becomes but a creature governed mainly by their conditioned reflexes. Such a person is not living by their own authority.

Any human beings who have been forced to conform and have accepted a life devoid of thinking, who have been constrained in their ambitions, pride and personal achievements, have resigned themselves to the constriction, even the slow death of the attributes which are the distinctive elements of human life. Applying physical strength, or intellectual energies to please others and to fulfil their ideals, does nothing except reduce us to being a commodity, reducing our scope for happiness and increasing the likelihood of stress and lack of harmony in our lives. It reduces the ability, so needed today to dream of things that never were and ask, “Why not?”

This form of existence is an affront to the human spirit. It offends. This is deeply felt by many and the inevitable reaction to it is rebellion in some form or another. This form of existence is unnecessary and is the cause for much of the mental distress so increasingly evident in our society today.

Anyone in this situation needs the courage, the strength of character to actually look at what they are doing through their own eyes, to see what is actually there, not the view that they have been conditioned to see (by those deemed to be authority figures, or what the political or corporate ‘spin doctors’ want them to see).

To do this we need clear vision and an understanding of our true humanity, our true potential. No one can tell us who we are or what to see and how we should react. We must live by our own authority.

Being a manager

Why is it that so many people are promoted to the role of ‘manager’ without the least experience in managing? Just because you may be a good salesman (or woman) does not necessarily mean you will be a good manager.

Just think about it, being a ‘manager’ requires someone to manage people. This is not easy and requires many skills not the least of which are communications and empathy. A technician ‘manages’ technical matters – equipment and such like; an accountant ‘manages’ the finances and assets of an organization; a chemist may be involved in the chemical constituents of the products manufactured – but who manages the people? It may that a technician or accountant may, with experience, become an excellent manager of people, but this is not a certainty.

Products or services are manufactured or provided by people for other people – the equipment or devices used are there to ease the process of manufacture or to improve the products or services. Man has been making things and providing services for thousands of years with very simple tools, considerable skill and a great deal of patience. Equipment and machinery are not the be all and end all of managing. People are.

It is many years since I went to a ‘show’ – I mean a Royal Show – an agricultural and industrial show. But I do remember buying ‘show bags’ for my children (now parents in their own right) and in those show bags was a strange plasticky stuff. You squeezed it in your hand and it squelched out between your fingers like a soft plasticine or play-dough. Kids loved it. Anyway this stuff is a good analogy for what happens when a person is employed in a position which is uninteresting, mundane, unfulfilling and maybe not very well paid. What happens in many instances is that the essence of who they are, their inner being is stifled and constrained and required to conform to the requirements of the job – hours employed during the day (or night), at a desk or in a position not of their normal choosing staring at a screen – they are squeezed into a position, one they would not normally take, and expected to fulfil the organizations wishes, promote their products or services and, most probably, service the public with a smile. They may be ok in the position for a while but then the pressures get to them and like the ‘show bag’ plasticky stuff there has to be an outlet somewhere, somehow. Otherwise it just pops out in the most unexpected way – anger, frustration, alcohol, substance abuse, general ill health and the big one - depression.

A manager (of people) must learn to see the signs, talk to those concerned and, if the firm is large enough, suggest they move to a more suitable position. If the organization is small, then just knowing that the ‘boss’ understands and is prepared for a little ‘give and take’ makes an enormous difference and makes for a much pleasanter work place.

Not many managers do this; not many are good communicators; not many empathise with their staff, more is the pity.

Moral high ground

The moral high ground is when you think you are better than anyone else, or from a national point of view, believing that your country is guided by something higher than mere people and that all others are lesser beings because of this.

Problems are inevitable when this thinking prevails. This is pride, this is hubris to a high degree, and a fall is inevitable – such a high ‘standard’ can never be sustained. We have seen quite a lot of this recently.

There have been the Rugby League shenanigans – excessive alcohol consumption and sexual misconduct; British politicians rorting their allowances; former US President George Bush and his very ill advised invasion of Iraq; US policy of ‘rendition’; prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib prison; the on-going saga of incarcerating prisoners at Guantanamo Bay (‘Gitmo’); the Israeli treatment of the inhabitants of Gaza (attacks and sixty years of blockades); the shocking treatment of the harmless minority ‘Falang Gong’ by the Chinese Government, and of course their treatment of Tibetans; and then of there have the various reports in Australia and elsewhere on paedophilia, sadistic physical, sexual, emotional abuse, neglect and brutalisation of children, perpetrated by priests and nuns from various Catholic Church orders and organizations culmination in the recent Irish, Ryan Report about similar abuse in Ireland’s industrial school system (run mainly by the Catholic Church, particularly the Christian Brothers and the Sisters of Mercy).

It is a massive report – five volumes with a total of about 5 000 pages. I have not read the entire report, and I do not suppose I ever will because it is very distressing (it is available, in full, on the internet). Apart from the incalculable physical and mental harm to the children all the reported abuse diminishes the perpetrators and reduces them from being the upholders of a noble Christian ideal – care for and provide succour to the distressed, the lonely and those in need - to being criminals who used and abused those most vulnerable in our society, our children and who need to be brought to justice. These people and the institutions they represent have lost all moral authority to tell anyone, anywhere, what to do and how to behave. For them it is obviously a case of ‘do as I say, not as I do.’ This is hypocrisy on a grand scale.

I think President Obama has got the message and is doing his best to restore some semblance of moral authority to the US Government’s activities.

I am not sure the Israeli’s have learned anything and still follow their rather primitive Old Testament dictum of an ‘eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’

Rugby League and British politicians are cleaning up their acts purely and simply because it hurts their wallets, not because they actually believe they have behaved in an antisocial or unethical manner. Their standard response is ‘but I have done nothing wrong’ or ‘but she asked me up to her room.’

The Ryan Report highlights the truly astonishing level of abuse that some 800 priests and nuns are accused of perpetrating over a period of about 70 years in Ireland, UK, Australia, Canada, Gibraltar, India and the United States to many thousands of unfortunate children, now men and women. I am not at all sure that the Catholic Church has the inclination to really change.

You can lose a reputation in a second – and it will take a very long time indeed to restore.

“Indeed the Idols I have loved so long
Have done my Credit in Men’s Eye much wrong:
Have drown’d my Honour in a shallow Cup,
And sold my Reputation for a song.”

(Quatrain 69, Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, Edward FitzGerald translation)

The word "Help"

The word ‘help’ is a short four letter word with a wide range of meanings – it can be a verb or a noun. Its meanings range from a scream for assistance, or offering succour to those in need, to being a servant (a ‘help’ around the house). The word comes from Old English, Old Frisian (helpe), Old Saxon (helpa), Old High German (Helfa) and Old Norse (hjalp), so the word has obviously been around for quite a while.

What brought this to my attention is the crying need for more help (in the sense of succour) for many people in all walks of life and in many countries. What particularly bothers me is the plight of so many children – on the streets (any city you care to name), malnourishment (Sudan, Ethiopia and even in Australia and the USA), abused (any society anywhere), injured in wars (ie Tamil Tigers 27 year insurgency - and now the terrible aftermath of the conflicts in Syria, Iraq, Yemen and Myanmar) – these are the most defenceless and vulnerable in our society.

Regarding this subject (which is actually about injustice) I remembered reading something which took me quite a while to find. It is a little story written by someone who has faded from view in recent years – Sir Rabindranath Tagore (1861 – 1941). He was a Bengali and the first Asian to receive the Nobel Prize – in his case for Literature. He was also Knighted by the King in 1914 (I think). He was what is called a polymath (a man of knowledge) - a poet, visual artist, playwright, novelist, educationist, social reformer, nationalist, business-manager and composer whose works reshaped Bengali literature and music. He was also fluent in English.

In a little book he wrote called “Fruit Gathering” is a short piece titled ‘XXXI’. This piece shows how even the most humble of us, given the will, can change society by helping, one small piece at a time:

“Who among you will take up the duty of feeding the hungry?” Lord Buddha asked his followers when famine raged at Shravastri.

Ratnakar, the banker, hung his head and said, “Much more is needed than all my wealth to feed the hungry.”

Jaysen, the chief of the King’s army, said, “I would gladly give all my life’s blood, but there is not enough food in my house.”

Dharmapal, who owned broad acres of land, said with a sigh, “The drought demon has sucked my fields dry. I know not how to pay King’s dues.”

Then rose Supriya, the mendicant’s daughter. She bowed to all and meekly said, “I will feed the hungry.”

“How!” they cried in surprise. “How can you hope to fulfil that vow?”
“I am the poorest of you all,” said Supriya, “that is my strength. I have my coffer and my store at each of your houses.”

Such is the will and power to help that even just one can offer!

Culture

‘Culture’ is a funny thing isn’t it? It means many things to many people. I am thinking of the ‘big picture’ culture – the way people live and interact in different countries. Not the more refined ‘fine arts’ opera going, cocktail party type of culture. As an example I give you the following – this is an actual (but slightly amended to avoid any identification) ethical case that was presented to me some years ago:

Imagine you are a manager in an organization with strong Middle Eastern connections.
You learn that the CEO has been requested to instruct the Human Resources Manager to endorse a senior staff appointment that would satisfy the Middle Eastern Connection.
You also learn that the person to be appointed is a locally born relative of the Middle Eastern Connection. The concern is that this is blatant nepotism, and that a person with better qualifications and experience (from within the organization) will be overlooked.

A number of management and staff members come to you to express their dissatisfaction with the proposed appointment. You are asked to approach the CEO to point out that what is happening will cause resentment, may even cause resignations and will have a negative impact on staff morale, and to find out what action could be taken to stop the appointment.

The CEO makes you aware that in the culture of the Middle Eastern Connection no ‘family’ member would ever do anything to dishonour the family name – particularly so in this case, as the appointee would ‘owe’ a favour. This appointment would therefore be considered as something of an ‘insurance’, to ensure that the Middle Eastern Connection’s local interests are protected and as such they would not think of it as being unethical.

You are told that there is nothing that can be done about the appointment.
What should you do? What are your options? Does it really matter?

While the ‘locally born relative’ had some experience in the industry concerned, being parachuted in at the top, as it were, would not have been condoned in a purely Australian context. I know that many sons of owners are employed in senior positions but they generally had to work their way up through the ranks. Think of James Packer or the Murdoch children.

I suppose it is a case of different horses for courses, but it is odd how different people can observe the same problem and come up with a totally different solution – based on their cultural back ground. It just shows that there is not just one ‘correct’ way of doing anything.

Some people can be very unkind

Some people can be very unkind and uncaring. I remember when, quite a few years ago now, I was accountant for a small franchise pharmaceutical company. A new shopping centre had been opened and one of the shops was taken up by this franchisor.

After some searching a ‘suitable’ pharmacist was found who offered to buy into the franchise and to take up the lease for the vacant shop. The contract was duly prepared and all the necessary financial arrangements were in place – all that was required was for the gentleman to turn up on a particular day and sign up.

A few days earlier this pharmacist had phoned me to ask how thing were progressing and I gave him the latest info. He told me that his elderly mother was very sick and on their farm in a district some considerable distance from Perth. He said that she was gravely ill and not expected to last out the week and that this put him on a spot and he doubted whether he would be present on the day required to sign the franchise documents.

I told the business owner, my boss, the news from this rather distressed man and was rather shaken by his demeanour and his reply. His words were (and I clearly remember them after all these years), “Tough. Tell him to be there or the whole deal falls through and he loses his deposit.”

The new pharmacist was not a wealthy man and losing a $10 000 deposit was something he could ill afford. When I phoned him and gave the news his anguish was palpable. His mother was dying, he had to travel hundreds of kilometres to and from the farm, and now he had this added problem because of the intransigence of my boss.

This put me in a very difficult position as it was my job to liaise between the pharmacists and my boss, the franchisor. I thought he was being overly harsh and I told him so and that under the circumstances I was sure the bank would allow a few days grace. I also indicated that his approach was not the ideal way to start a business relationship. He fired me on the spot.

The gentleman’s mother did die and her funeral had been arranged for the ‘signing day’ so he had to drive in, on the day of the funeral, sign the documents and return to the farm to sort out his mother’s affairs. He was not very happy and I discovered later that he transferred the franchise to someone else as soon as he could.

As I have said before, treating money as more important than people is a recipe for trouble and causes a great deal of unnecessary hardship, as in this case. It is also unethical.