There is no doubt about it, as far as I am
concerned. After nearly a year since my wife died, I definitely agree with the
old saying that a (loving) wife makes a home.
Women have the ability, that I think most
men don’t have, to make a place “homely” – very difficult to define. There is a
warmth, a comfort, an ability to arrange furniture, photographs on a dresser,
how the cushions are arranged on a sofa, the tidiness in the kitchen, the look
of a made up bed – little things – to make a place look “nice”. Certainly all
different from the way that I do it on my own.
I am a reasonably tidy person but I don’t
always see the incongruity of the way I do things. I mean I use one plate, one
bowl, one cup, one glass, one spoon, one fork, one knife – these are kept on
the drip tray after they have been washed. Why put them away in the cupboard or
drawer? I’m just going to take them out again! But I do make the bed every day! I sleep on alternate sides for a week at a time - then I change the sheets. Aren't I good!!
And I do (really) close the lid of the toilet (water closet? - whatever) after use!
The house is clean (sort of). I do dust and I do use the vacuum cleaner but I am not regular in their use. I clean when it becomes obvious – not a really good practice!!
The house is clean (sort of). I do dust and I do use the vacuum cleaner but I am not regular in their use. I clean when it becomes obvious – not a really good practice!!
And cooking – most people’s taste buds
would not have evolved enough to appreciate my cooking! Very basic - healthy
with lots of vegetables and fish - but no “frills”. Not cooked with the loving
care that my wife applied. I cook because I have to eat. Still, I am in good
health apart from some age related problems (a few aches here and there) but I
am taking no medication at all. Which is good for 76. No?
But still, without a wife (after 36 years of
a close and very emotionally rewarding marriage) the house is most certainly
not the same. It is a place to sleep and eat but not really a home like it was.
Oh well! Not much I can do about it is
there? Life carries on regardless.
Note: I am going to add a big one - one that I, at least, didn't miss until it wasn't there - social contacts. Women (and my wife in particular was very good at this) are good at generating and maintaining social contacts.
I am not!!
Note: I am going to add a big one - one that I, at least, didn't miss until it wasn't there - social contacts. Women (and my wife in particular was very good at this) are good at generating and maintaining social contacts.
I am not!!
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