Manners Maketh Man

‘Manners Makyth Man’ is the motto of the establishments founded by William of Wykeham, (1324 - 1404) - Winchester College and New College, Oxford.  

I would not like my one loyal reader to think that I was at all discriminatory regarding women. Quite the contrary – I have always considered women to be a jump or two ahead of men – after all human life is created within them. This is a fact that deserves a high order of acknowledgement. It should, therefore, be obvious that I am not being sexist when I use the word Man – it is generic and means the species homo-sapiens – so most certainly includes women.

But to get back to what I want to say about manners. The old Winchester College (English Public School) motto that “Manners Maketh Man” may be old fashioned and from a different time and different generation but it still has value today. Manners – good manners (and not just etiquette which is different) – are recognised in every society and culture as important. Obviously they vary from culture to culture and within societies but the fundamentals are the same everywhere.

Manners are important as a respectful acknowledgement of the rights of others (worthy or not). Generally (and I must be careful what I say here), generally, good manners are an indication of the level of refinement in a person. People with no manners; those who are offensive in their behaviour; those who use abusive language; those whose conversation contains a high proportion of expletives are generally considered as impolite or vulgar and lacking good manners. Good manners give an indication of how one treats others and how one expects to be treated by others. In other words – how good a person is – and we all want be considered good.

There are, of course, those people who use their (apparent) good manners and (superficial) personal charm for their own ends. Confidence tricksters (con men or women) often appear to be charming and well mannered people but always, very obviously, use these attributes for their own nefarious purposes. The opposite of this are those people with hearts of gold – kind and generous - but who are rather uncouth in their behaviour and speech.

In my book the importance of “good manners” lies in the fact that they are based on ethical principles which affect general behaviour. I always remember being impressed by something I read about Capt. Scott’s Antarctic Expedition in 1912. Scott apparently insisted on “good manners” – he believed that good manners reduced the opportunities for friction in a group of men forced to live together in a confined space for an extended period.

Generally it can be said that good manners set a standard of behaviour that those, in the culture concerned, understand and try to adhere too. Fundamental to good manners is ethics. And fundamental to ethics is the precept that a person’s behaviour should be governed by the standard of behaviour they would expect from others – in other words, treat others the way you would like to be treated. Someone who is ethical is, kind, generous, just, honest, courageous and temperate in manner (there is that word again). There is no other viable alternative.

So, in a way it is true - manners do make Man (as in a good person). 

Mental health, surveillance, controls and us.

Amended September 21, 2018.
This is another post from some years ago that is, I feel, particularly relevant today with the news that China is using millions of CCTV cameras (with face recognition software) to keep tabs of all citizens. Those who are seen to follow the "Party Line" earn "Social Credits" and are allowed to travel both within and outside China, for example. There are many more social activities that you or I would consider normal that are denied those with a low "Social Credit" score.


Today, when we are deluged with advertising exhorting us to buy this or that product, to follow this or that cause, to do this or that because “you deserve it”, how many of us actually know what we like or even who we are? Certainly advertising is useful – in its place. But when we reach a stage of believing everything we are told – by someone who certainly does not have our best interests in mind – I think we are in trouble. How can anyone know what I need, or want, or should do? They (whoever “they” may be) may generalise and say that statistically most people do this or that or the other thing. But when “they” try to apply their generalisations to me (or you) it becomes an opinion, because they don’t know my (or your) specific attributes and needs.

The thing is that it is so easy to follow what others do. There is comfort in knowing that we conform to what the group or society is doing (whether this is right or wrong). I suppose it is that same sort of comfort afforded to a herd of gazelles about to be attacked by a lion. There is comfort in numbers – an individual gazelle’s chance of being eaten by the lion is in inverse proportion to the size of the herd – a relatively small chance. Many of us may unconsciously try to comply with the same herd instinct. I am not sure that this is, generally, in our best interests. To revert to the example of the gazelles, each gazelle conforms to the characteristics of their kind – all are of a similar colour and size. Human beings, on the other hand, are not all of one colour or one size, and what are are the characteristics of our kind? We have attributes and characteristics derived from ALL animals – we live, survive and seem to thrive in every climatic and environmental condition.

So where does this leave us human beings? We have a propensity to conform – it is so easy to do so. There is no need for us to think for ourselves. Someone (who we presume must know better than us) tells us what to do because it is deemed to be best for us (as individuals). On the other hand it is a human requirement that we each grow and develop in our own individual way for our own individual purposes. We each learn from and react to experiences and circumstances in our own unique way. We are not clones. We each, in our own way on our journey through life, add to the sum of human knowledge. This is as it should be because in this way humanity benefits. There will certainly be ups and downs, positives and negatives in this journey and with the knowledge we gain in this process. But again this is as it should be. How else can we learn?

This gets me back to where I started from – other people telling me (or us) what to do. Rather than being told what to do, there is I believe a (possibly unconscious) covert move to influence us in other ways. Why are there so many surveillance cameras in most major cities? I believe it is because the authorities (whoever they are) want us to believe that we are under constant surveillance by some unseen authority. In this way it is hoped that we “internalise” this sense of being observed and alter our behaviour. This is a form of power whereby physical control is switched from the old concept of chains, to self control through the fear of not knowing for certain whether or not we are being observed. This uncertainty will change the way we think of ourselves as citizens by introducing the element of fear which leads us to “conform” to some vague, undefined, pattern of behaviour.

Ostensibly the surveillance is to identify criminals, and one has to admit it is useful in this regard. However are we to submit to some Government ill defined “greater good”, which limits individual freedoms? By freedoms I do not in any way suggest that we can or should do what we like. Not at all. Paradoxically, because we, as individuals, always hold to the core belief that we are good, any attempt to expose activity to the contrary (i.e. by surveillance cameras) is met with an element of anxiety – no one wants to be shown up to be less than their own idea of who they are. This aside, any constraint on our ability as individuals to express ourselves as we see fit has, I am sure, unforeseen consequences. The fundamental law of life – the law of cause and effect, may be forgotten but can never be avoided. Ethics, morality and values (both personal and cultural) must be adhered to.

Stress and anxiety are known to be precursors of a variety of mental problems as defined by the Psychologists “Bible” – the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual  – DSM5. It is possible, even probable, that the elements of stress and anxiety brought about by this background of constant surveillance is instrumental in the, verified, higher incidence of schizophrenia in cities as compared to rural areas.

In high density urban environments we are constantly pulled and pushed by conflicting demands – we need to maintain certain standards of behaviour (on the surface at least) to keep peace with neighbours; we have a desire to maintain living standards and to have certain material goods to satisfy our children and to “keep up with the Jones’”; we are aware that we are constantly being observed by our neighbours for any transgressions. Thus we are forced to conform to standards that are not of our making and which may conflict with our individual values and moral standards. To have added to this the knowledge that we are under constant CCTV surveillance is an additional level of stress.

This does bode well for our peace of mind.

Maybe the Chinese Authorities should recall that some twenty-seven centuries ago the Chinese philosopher Confucius stated that:

"If you govern people by laws, and keep them in order by penalties, they will avoid the penalties yet lose their sense of shame. But if you govern them by your moral excellence, and keep them in order by your dutiful conduct, they will retain their sense of shame, and also live up to this standard."

Why whistleblowers are so important

To my way of thinking whistleblowers need to be encouraged. If someone is guilty of corrupt, illicit, negligent, abusive or exploitative activities they need to be brought to account for their actions. If a person is not brought to account then they will forever be looking over their shoulder wondering when they will be found out and when the axe will fall. They will carry a burden of guilt which will weigh heavily upon them, leading to increasing stress and isolation from their fellow beings. No one who exploits others in any way feels comfortable and at ease in the company of those they have hurt or negatively affected – this is a natural consequence of guilt. As the French mathematician and humanist, Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) wrote in his ‘Pensees’, “There is no greater unhappiness than when a person starts to fear the truth lest it denounce him.”

This is the reason why whistleblowers often fear for their lives. They have ‘exposed’ someone’s deepest secrets that they never expected would see the light of day – secrets that are dark and were hidden. Such exposure presents the perpetrator with an image of themselves which differs from their own, internal, picture of whom or what they think they are – everyone likes to think of themselves as a ‘good person’. When someone is caught out and exposed by a whistleblower they are forced to see themselves, as it were, in their ‘true colours’ and they are shocked and enter a state of denial and their inevitable initial response is “I have done nothing wrong”.

They will fight tooth and nail to preserve their image of themselves and to avoid appearing diminished in their own eyes or in the eyes of others. They try to pass the blame to others or to accuse the whistleblower of being untrustworthy and of lying. They fight to maintain a level of trust because everyone, particularly in business or government, must be seen as trustworthy. All worthwhile relationships are built on trust. If a person knows (deep down and because of their actions) that they are not trust worthy, they will not trust others either. Not to trust anyone is to have no meaningful relationships, which in turn isolates them from others. It must never be forgotten, however, that Man, as in Mankind, is a highly social being and is unable to live successfully or for long without some social contact, which is why the most severe punishment that can be imposed on anyone is solitary confinement (think of the self-imposed isolation by the North Korean government and the effect this has had on the unfortunate people of that impoverished country or the Chinese government’s persecution of dissidents and members of the Falun Gong).

To expose a person’s (or a government’s or businesses’) corrupt, illegal or exploitative activities is necessary, not only for society but also for those individuals engaged in such activities. It is as if something secret and unseen has now seen the light of day, which has a cathartic effect by lifting a burden and ‘cleansing’ a person (or organisation) of their guilt. The alternative is fear, and fear begets anger and hatred, and those who are fearful and consumed by hate lose their powers of reason and in such a state seldom exercise sound judgement. A person’s ability to determine ‘right’ from ‘wrong’ is suspended and everything and anything is considered acceptable, which defers the moment of exposure. Again think of North Korea; also BP and their problems in the Gulf; the Chinese government and dispossessed landowners; the Catholic Church and their paedophile priests; the Australian regulatory authorities and highly toxic pesticides banned elsewhere but still used in Australia and so the list goes on. Consider also the many other less than charitable activities exposed by that very useful website at http://wikileaks.org/wiki/Wikileaks.

What cannot be forgotten in today’s unedifying stampede for money and positions of influence is that men (as in mankind) have done these things and that we are all of mankind, furthermore we all share in the multi-various proclivities of mankind. Even if, from a purely legal stand point, any one individual may not be an accessory to any particular questionable activity or behaviour, because of our human nature and the consciousness that binds us all to each other, we are all guilty – we are all of mankind. We are all diminished by such unwarranted behaviour. This is why whistleblowers are so important.

“All that's necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing.”
Edmund Burke (British Statesman and Philosopher, 1729-1797)

Why Ethics is important

[Amended 24/01/2020]
I know I wrote this a long time ago - it is in fact my second ever blog - but I still believe that what I wrote then is true today. Possibly more so!!

We all have different views of the world we live in. It is our view point that colours what we do and why we do it in a particular way. But we must never forget that what we do will affect others in ways that we cannot foresee. Nothing we do is in isolation – other people are always involved in one way or another. What is the saying – ‘six degrees of separation’? If you know six people you will have a link to everyone in the world!! They will know six others that you do not know etc, etc. So anything we do or say may impact on someone we have never even heard of. It is therefore important that we are very careful in what we do or say, for that very reason. This means being ethical in our relationships with others. If we follow the six degrees of separation to its logical conclusion, what we say or do will come back to us in the end. What goes around comes around!

Ethics should be considered as a set of principles by which to live; a code of conduct for our relationships with all whom we come in contact. Ethics encompasses social mores, usually expressed today as good manners; our behaviour towards our fellow humans and fellow creatures; and trust. 

The world operates on trust. Trust is a belief that others will act in accordance with ill defined, but generally accepted standards of behaviour and respect for others. If trust is absent then very little of what we deem necessary, to allow the free flow of social intercourse and commerce, will occur. All these matters are governed by ethics.