A Man or THE MAN? – not such a simple question.

Being an “older” male, it has come to my attention that in many respects men have forgotten, or never learned, what it is to be a man. My understanding and what I have always tried to adhere to, is that men and women compliment each other, in that each should support the other. Each brings to any relationship the strengths, and weaknesses, of their gender; neither should try to dominate the other; that it should always be a partnership of equals – equal but different. The physically stronger male should support and protect the female, while the female should bring to the partnership her intuition and “feminine” strengths (these are indefinable!).

I know that my late wife, Magucha, certainly did that. Her strengths lay in her astonishing insight, her emotional strength and her courage. 

Much is reported about the, unfortunately, extremely high, seemingly worldwide, incidence of domestic violence (principally committed by men against women and children); the revelations of the coercion and sexual abuses in the media industry committed by men in positions of influence and authority; the revelations, worldwide, of appalling priestly paedophilia (if ever there was one this is surely the ultimate oxymoron!!) – almost exclusively committed by male priests, pastors, rabbis and imams, against children.  

And one is left to wonder why. I suggest that this stems from two sources – power and insecurity. 

This is a “power play” by men. The average male is physically larger and stronger that the average female and of course, children. So a male, in a dominant position of influence and authority, such as a priest, has tremendous “leverage” to force those in a dependent situation, to “obey” any instruction or command. His insecurity lies in his need to dominate.

In domestic violence situations my understanding is that much of it is “caused” by jealousy. The male feels he is being “betrayed” and is the “victim” - that his partner should be blamed for any resulting violence. “She made me do it”, is a common refrain. Again, this jealousy and need to dominate, lies in insecurity.

“Boys will be boys” is not an valid response.

So – I now – as usual find that others, more fluently say what I’m trying to express, more pointedly and in far fewer words. 

This, by Atticus:-

“Boys learn too late

that being 

‘The Man’,

is not the same thing

as being

A Man.”  

Catholics priests, Paedophilia and Cardinal Pell’s response.

Something is dramatically wrong when a Cardinal of the Roman Catholic Church, the titular head of the Catholic Church in Australia, Cardinal Pell can say (in apparent justification) that, and I quote from the Weekend Australian newspaper dated 11-12 November 2012, despite the Catholic Church having received hundreds of complaints of child abuse and notifications of paedophilia in New South Wales and Victoria he believed “it was no worse than any other organisation, and had been unfairly vilified”.

I find this statement astounding, utterly beneath contempt and unworthy of any “organisation” – particularly a church like the Roman Catholic Church. Cardinal Pell is obviously looking after his position and is protecting his back. The statement was obviously made to protect the “image” of the Church and to diminish anyone who dares to criticise the activities of the Church and its ministers.

It would be well for Cardinal Pell to recall the words of Jesus (King James - Matthew 18.6):

 “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believes in me, it were better that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depths of the sea.”

As I understand it the whole point of a “Church” is that it espouses spiritual values and is supposed to guide, to nourish, to uplift its members. The whole point of priesthood is the (supposedly) spiritual training priests receive which is (supposedly) designed to make them “better” that the average parishioner so that they (the priests) may better minister to the needs of their “flock”. 

It would be well for Cardinal Pell to also recall the words of Jesus (King James – Matthew 22. v37 - 40):

 “37. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38. This is the first and great commandment.

39. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

40. On these two commandments hang all the laws and the prophets.”

How can anyone trust an “organisation” such as the Catholic Church that breaks its own Laws, with children, innocent children; breaks the COMMANDMENTS, no less, of Jesus and then have its leader (Cardinal Pell) say, “We have been unfairly vilified?”

This statement beggars belief. Not only should a Royal Commission be set up to investigate the many hundreds of accusations of paedophilia and abuse but Cardinal Pell should stand aside from his position until this whole messy business is sorted out and the Church “cleansed” of its defilement.

I paraphrase Oliver Cromwell and say to Cardinal Pell and the Church hierarchy, “You have sat too long for any good you have been doing lately ... Depart, I say; and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go!”

(For the record - I am a non-practicing Anglican).

Ethics and Injustice – the Catholic Church and others.

It is outrageous that an august institution like the Roman Catholic Church should deny the prevalence of physical and sexual abuse and paedophilia within its ranks. For this to be allowed to happen is shameful and indicates that, firstly, the Catholic Church leaders have forgotten (or chosen to ignore) the difference between religion and spirituality. Secondly, the Catholic Church leaders would appear to be (to use an appropriate term) hell bent on preserving the Church’s image, regardless of the consequences.  

Just because someone who attends a church and is well versed in the contents of the Bible (or the Koran or anything else), and can quote it, as the saying goes – chapter and verse – does not mean that they are a “good” person; they may be “religious” but are they spiritual? Spirituality is difficult to define. Generally I think that referring to someone as “spiritual” means that the person has empathy, an awareness, an understanding that there is something above and beyond a person’s apparent existence, something more; that a “Great Artificer” (God, the Divine, Allah) exists and that Humans have souls and a higher purpose than mere existence. The quest for and the fulfilment of this purpose is (or should be) a Human Being’s principle aim.

It is my understanding that the Catholic Church, in fact any organisation or groupings of people performing a similar function, through its leaders and teachers, should be guiding, instructing and helping their followers to do just that – to try and understand that higher purpose. I am not sure that any Religion, of whatever Faith, does this today.

For the Catholic Church leaders to prevaricate, obfusticate and generally deny the problem of abuse and paedophilia within its priesthood is criminal and plain wrong. They are not protecting their image – they are tarnishing it. Worse still they are damaging the mental and physical wellbeing of those they are charged with protecting – their parishioners; the reason for their very existence as a church. The Catholic Church is risking everything for what? For an image? What image and what is ethical or honourable in what they are doing? What they are doing is destroying trust and damaging the wellbeing of countless individuals.  

It is odd that an institution founded on honesty and penitence should struggle so. Today’s Catholic leaders might also recall that clerical abuses of power, defended by legalistic quibbling, greatly angered an itinerant preacher in Palestine two millennia ago (The Economist Mar 18th 2010).

While, fortunately, there are many very good and devoted people in all religions, it is, as always, the case that a few “bad apples spoil the barrel”. Therefore it is hardly surprising that it is not just the Catholic Church that is struggling with the problem of sexual and physical abuse and paedophilia. A search, even a cursory search, of the internet reveals the astonishing and distressing fact that these issues are present in all the Christian Churches, in Islam, in Judaism, in Buddhism and in Hinduism. No one seems to be able to control it or be prepared to do anything about it.

Wherever and whenever males are involved with women and children (and being a male I am distressed to admit this is almost entirely a male problem) male perceptions of “dominance” and “power” come into play and sexual temptation will be ever present. Just because “The Book” (Bible, Koran or whatever) does not explicitly condemn the sexual and physical abuse of women and children does not mean that it is acceptable in any shape or form.

Being a male I am only too aware of the influence of testosterone in daily living. But I believe that I have been able to exercise a measure of restraint and self-control over my actions. My thoughts and dreams are of course another matter entirely. This is where the so called “teachings” and the teachers have failed. Imams, Monks, Preachers and Priests, by virtue of their positions and “superior” knowledge should lead by example; should lead with love; not with fear and certainly not with a “do as I say, not as I do” approach. This “holier than thou” attitude helps no one and destroys that most subtle element of life, trust in others.

It is the “Golden Rule” and a basic tenet of ALL religions that one should treat others as you, yourself, would like to be treated.  This is the ethical, moral way – in fact the only way. Self-restraint, self-discipline, empathy and an understanding of the unwritten “Law” of Cause and Effect; that whatever a person does will have unanticipated consequences; that what goes around comes around; that a person reaps what they sow; that they will have to sleep in the bed they have made, appear to be beyond the comprehension of Church leaders and leaders of other religious organisations. There are countless myths, legends and children’s stories, in all languages, detailing the consequences of wrong doing and of harming people. Does anyone read and reflect on these today?

Is it any wonder that there is so much violence in the world when those who are supposed to promote, preach and “spread the Word” about “loving thy neighbour as thyself”, themselves by their actions, do nothing of the sort.

That ALL the “great” religions of the world have declined to such an extent that they have lost their moral compass and are seemingly unable to distinguish right from wrong, is a sad reflection on our day and age. Trying to get back to the roots of any religion by reverting to an outdated, primitive and “fundamental” interpretation of the Bible or the Koran, or any other “Book”, will just compound the problem.

It would appear that Religion today, as practiced by all faiths, has been reduced to a shell hollowed out by hypocrisy, immorality, injustice and unethical conduct.

Shame on you!

(For the record I was baptised as an Anglican – Church of England – but I do not attend any church and do not align myself with any particular faith).

The Catholic Church and women priests

What do they think they are doing? Isn’t it extraordinary that the Catholic Church, in the 21st century, is apparently treating the ‘elevation’ – if that is the term – of women to the priesthood by ordaining them as a “grave delict” that can lead to the immediate excommunication of the people involved. In other words, in the eyes of the Catholic Church this is a ‘wrong’ that ranks with paedophilia and sexual abuse! Really? As far as I know, all priests and Popes, past and present, were all born of a woman in the normal manner. Even Jesus was born of a woman. Most men have a very soft spot and a great affection for their mother and most people had their first life experiences and basic education from their mother. In fact there is an old Roman saying “educate a woman and you educate a family, educate a man and you educate an individual.” All the men in the Catholic Church, including the Pope, as with all men everywhere learned from their mother. So why the antagonism against women as priests? They would just be carrying on where they left off, as it were, and instructing and helping people generally.

The Catholics say that because Jesus had only male apostles, only men can become priests. But then no one knows what was in the mind of Jesus when he chose his apostles or what criteria he used for the choices he made. The present church authorities have no idea what the actual, day by day, social situation was, in Palestine, when Jesus is supposed to have started his ministry in, about, the year 30 of the current era. It was after all a very turbulent time in that part of the world. Possibly the situation was too dangerous for women to travel on missions, as the apostles had to do. I know that men (and male children) traditionally tended the flocks of sheep and goats because, I suppose, they were better equipped – physically stronger – to protect the animals from predators. Maybe women had not the time – looking after children and keeping the home for their menfolk as they did.

Women (and the female of the species everywhere) are the traditional nurturers and carers of the young and are better equipped physically and emotionally for the role, than men. After all God created men and women didn’t He? The Catholic Church cannot ignore 50% of the population because of something that is supposed to have happened two thousand years ago. Men and women together would give a far better balance to the priesthood and, I suggest, make it a better organisation. It would also alleviate the current shortage of priests if women were ordained. I also suggest that it is because of this very bias towards males in the Church that the present problems – sexual abuses – are so prevalent. And who knows what happened in the cloisters and monasteries in past centuries before the age of mass media and the internet – men are men and have sexual urges regardless of wherever they are and in what age they lived. Celibacy is unnatural and the effects of trying to enforce it are now very evident.

And what about Mary Magdalene? What was her position in the early Church? She was, after all, very close to Jesus. The Catholic Church needs to rethink its position on women very carefully. Their recently affirmed attitude has certainly upset many women, including my wife.