Totally alone.

Now that I have experienced “aloneness” for the 14 months since my wife died I have a deeper understanding of the devastating effects that losing one’s home, possessions, country, and for children, their caregivers, must have.

When I read, see and listen about the human tragedy that is unfolding in the Middle East and North and East Africa I have some difficulty in comprehending the enormity of the devastation and the inhumanity of it all.

My imagination fails me when I try to put myself in the place of a child (particularly a girl) lost with no one to turn to for the normal care that would be expected. Having to scavenge for food, shelter, clothing and for just the basic necessities to live, must be absolutely traumatic. 

Add to all this the dawning realization the child must accept and the gnawing fear experienced, that there is no “family” to provide that most basic of human needs, nurture – Love.

To be in such a situation is almost incomprehensible. Not to have the emotional support or nurture that is so necessary for any child’s development is beyond belief. Not to ever get a hug or a kiss.

The long term effects will be etched on the child’s psyche and affect how they react to others and the World in general for the rest of their life – where ever that happens to be.

And we – the people of this world  - are the cause. Why? A “belief” that I am better than you? A belief that my “God” is better than your “God”?  A belief that money is the only important thing?

While I, as a mature adult, have my adult children to support (for their loss of a mother) they in turn support me. This is as it should be. We are, as human beings, social animals and are “wired” to support each other.

As the English poet and sermonist John Dunne wrote in the 1600s:-

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

- Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind -.

Indeed!

The Plutocrat

Those of you who may regularly read what I write will be aware of my love of poetry and of a few references to writers and composers of verse.

In this instance I quote from the Lebanese American poet and author, Kahlil Gibran – he who wrote the well-known book, “The Prophet”.

This is a very short tale from another of Gibran’s books, “The Forerunner”:-

The Plutocrat

In my wanderings I once saw upon an island a man-headed, iron-hoofed monster who ate the earth and drank the sea incessantly. And for a long time I watched him. Then I approached him and said, “Have you never enough; is your hunger never satisfied and your thirst never quenched?”

And he answered saying, “Yes, I am satisfied, nay, I am weary of eating and drinking; but I am afraid that tomorrow there will be no more earth to eat and no more sea to drink.”

Anyone you know to which this may apply? 

Is this the new world paradigm?

I wonder if the current method of communicating (in no more than140 characters) is affecting how we see and react to the world about us?

It used to be that when we communicated, face to face or by that, now very “old fashioned” letter writing, we were aware of the need to be polite, to be humble, to show self-restraint and to be discrete, particularly when dealing with those personally unknown to us.

In this regard, you may not be aware of this, but I have more than a passing interest in other religions and beliefs – that is other than Christianity. They are important I feel, as they (these other religions) influence some 6 billion people. That is a fair number!

In this connection I offer a very abbreviated (hopefully reasonably accurate) synopsis of an aspect of Hinduism that I find quite interesting. This is interesting as what has been believed for thousands of years (Hinduism, and it derivatives, is the oldest surviving religion in the world - I understand it even predates Judaism) is strangely applicable in todays rather unsettled world.

The Hindus believe in the “Yugas” – or the different ages that human beings have experienced in the world since we first became human. We are, according to these beliefs, now about 3000 years into the last of the four Yugas - the Kali Yuga wherein civilization degenerates into chaos.

Some of the (alleged) attributes of the Kali Yuga, are that:

•    Rulers will become unreasonable.

•    Rulers will no longer see it as their duty to promote spirituality, or to protect their subjects: they will become a danger to the world.

•    People will start migrating.

•    There will exist no topics on the subject of spirituality or God, even at the residences of so-called saints and respectable gentlemen and nothing will be known of the need for sacrifice, even by word.

With regard to human relationships:

•    Avarice and wrath will be common. Humans will openly display animosity towards each other. Ignorance will be widespread.

•    People will have thoughts of murder with no justification and will see nothing wrong in that.

•    Lust will be viewed as socially acceptable and sexual activity will be seen as the central requirement of life.

•    Sin will increase exponentially, while virtue will fade and cease to flourish.

•    People will take vows and break them soon after.

•    People will become addicted to intoxicating drinks and drugs.

An interesting future! It used to be that facts were facts and news was news. No more!

Quite appropriately, Nietzsche, admittedly not my favorite philosopher, said: “Anyone who fights with monsters should take care that he does not in the process become a monster.”

Tyrants beware!

History is never kind to those who abuse their fellow men. History is never kind to those who attempt to immortalize their achievements. History is never kind to those who blow their own trumpets.

And Nature has a way of taking over and restoring order, Her order.

I offer my one loyal reader this poem (by Shelley) that tells the story, far better than any words I could ever write, of how Hubris and Pride will always lose to Nature and be brought down:

Ozymandias

I met a traveller from an antique land

Who said: “Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,

  Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown

And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

  Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.

And on the pedestal these words appear:

  ‘My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:

Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!’

  Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,

  The lone and level sands stretch far away.”

                                    

There are always poems.

Some events; some memories; some recollections don’t get any easier, any less confronting with the elapse of time. They are still too fresh, too raw to be easily cast aside.

At times, such as the present, when recent past events cast a long shadow over my life, I am drawn to poets magisterial use of words to express the inexpressible. 

For reasons that I cannot explain – possibly because of its very early, childhood introduction – poetry has always stirred, within me, a deep well of emotion and intense imagery. Poets use of words are like a cry from the heart, that bring forth both pain and a salve to ease the pain.

One such poet is the Bengali polymath and Nobel prizewinner, Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941). From his 1913 publication, Gitanjali, a very short poem, number 87, hit me with a body blow that left me breathless and deeply moved.

87.

“In desperate hope I go and search for her in all the corners of my room;

I find her not.

My house is small and what once has gone from it can never be regained.

But infinite is thy mansion, my Lord, and seeking her I have come to thy door.

I stand under the golden canopy of thine evening sky and I lift my eager eyes to thy face.

I have come to the brink of eternity from which nothing can vanish – no hope, no happiness, no vision of a face seen through tears. 
Oh, dip my emptied life into that ocean, plunge it into the deepest fullness. Let me for once feel that lost sweet touch in the allness of the universe.”

Revenge and Injustice

NOTE: This post has jumped 6 years - it was originally posted May 14, 2011 hence the comments about bin Laden etc. Very old news. Not sure how or why this came to be "re-dated"!! 

No matter which way you look at it revenge is not a form of justice. Revenge is always personal – normally to seek retribution for some imagined wrong or perceived damage to someone’s ego (“loss of face”). Justice, to be true justice must be provided according to the law and be seen to be done – in other words justice must be a public affair. All trials and judgements must be made in public. No secret trials, no ‘kangaroo courts’, no ‘renditions’ to secret locations, no private ‘extra-judicial’ killings or assassinations.

Take the recent Osama bin Laden event in Pakistan. Whatever his crimes (and they were many), as a human being, he rightfully deserved his day in court. No matter the feelings of anger, hatred or fear and loathing engendered by his name and activities, he was entitled to a fair trial. To believe otherwise is to sink to his level, to a level of barbarism that does not sit well with any professed civilised society.

The law is based on trust and ethics. The great Confucius said some 2500 years ago, “What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others” - (the Bible says this and the Koran also expresses this guiding principle). This common sense principle is the foundation of all laws, of ethics, of compassion and of the general process of living. This is where the trust element resides – in the sure knowledge that you will be treated the same way that you would treat others. Any country that professes to abide by the law but, when convenient, flouts this principle loses all moral authority - read the USA, Sweden, Israel, China, Iran, Australia (and unfortunately many others).

When trust falters and people are unsure about how they will be treated, problems arise. Citizens will either live in fear, or will flout the law with a ‘damned if I do, damned if I don’t’ attitude. Neither bodes well for peace and prosperity in any country.

No matter how much "spin" the Americans use to dress up the killing of bin Laden; no matter how much the Swedes approve their closed trials for sexual crimes; no matter what the Chinese say about their secret trials, imprisonment and execution of people for spurious violations of their laws; no matter what the Israeli’s call their killing of Palestinians; no matter how the USA describes their treatment of prisoners in Abu Graib and Guantanamo Bay; no matter how Australian police justify their treatment of the original inhabitants of Australia, such activities cannot be justified and are wrong – plain and simply wrong.

Think of it like this – if the positions were reversed, the people imposing these penalties would not like to be treated this way, would they? Remember that violence - in any form - is the last resort of the morally bankrupt.

Magucha

Now, as the first “anniversary” (January 21, 2017) – if that is the correct word to use – of the death of my wife Maria or Magucha (by which name she was widely known) approaches I am conflicted with many, very mixed, emotions.

As her many friends would know, on an initial introduction her small stature could often divert attention from her astonishing ‘lion heart’. It was impossible to intimidate her. Once you got to know her however, size did not come into it – her intelligence and personality shone through like a beacon. Because she had survived serious illness and several near death experiences she lived for each day and, seemingly unconsciously, had taken to heart the Biblical instruction, “Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself” (Matthew 6:34 in the English King James Bible).

She was utterly fearless and, when it was brought to her attention, would fight unfairness or injustice with a ferocious intensity and singleness of purpose. Her most enduring and endearing qualities, however, were her kindness, her generosity of spirit and compassion. Magucha subscribed to the belief that we are wayfarers all, on the journey through life, and she was always prepared to give a helping hand to those who stumbled while on that journey. She seemed to shed a loving and kindly light and many were attracted to that “light” which gave warmth and comfort to those in need and good counsel to those in distress. Her ability to see “through” a problem and the depth of her common sense and worldly wisdom was astounding.

In a similar vein children were attracted to her apparent Alice in Wonderland ability to shrink in size to meet her young charges at their level – both physically and mentally. Her imagination had an almost childlike, innocent quality of freshness and innovation, which children found irresistible.  It was joyous to behold her love of all children but especially for her grand-children (three girls and a boy) – a love that was gladly reciprocated.

Mind you she was no saint! All this apparent “goodness” was leavened by a generous measure of human contrariness. Magucha had a streak of mule like stubbornness (once she made up her mind on anything it was very difficult for her to accept the need for change); she had a quick fire Portuguese (“Latin”) temperament and was not easily crossed; she was opinionated to a degree, with an insatiable attraction to conspiracy theories; she had an abiding and somewhat macabre interest in serious crime. But she also had a wonderfully infectious laugh and a quirky, mischievous and engaging sense of humour!

Furthermore (and I know!) she seemed to have a pathological inability to save money. If she had any she would spend it – generally on the welfare of others.

It could be said that she was “just” a woman who had a finely tuned sense of justice. But she was also someone who had overcome her own frailties and with astonishing determination, selflessness and will-power, managed to push herself to the limits of her strength and abilities to help those fellow humans in need and less fortunate than her. In this she was exceptional and should be remembered as a “worthy” human being in every sense of the word.

I believe she was an inspiration to all who knew her.

She was also my wife and best friend for, shall I say, an interesting but never boring, 36 years!

I loved her dearly and miss her intelligence, the sound of her voice, her humour, her smile and laughter, her love and emotional warmth in more ways that I can tell.

She loved life. She was 62. She was my Magucha.