Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I am always right! Right?

Why do we always like to be right? Is it ego or lack of self confidence that needs the boost of correctness?

Someone came to me the other day with a problem. His father treats him abominably – in that the son can never do anything right. In his father’s eyes he always needs to be corrected in anything he says or does. Arguments arise, harsh words are said and there is ill feeling all round. Why? For what purpose?

This sort of attitude, all too common I might add, benefits no one; not the person diminished by being ‘corrected’ in front of his family, nor the ‘corrector’. The ‘corrector’s’ attitudes are entrenched and the ill will felt by the son towards his father is reinforced. The result is stress all round. No one is happy. The father tries to control his son, the son resents the attempted control. The father gets angry because his control is resisted and the son resents the unwarranted interference. As I say, what for?

Unfortunately this type of situation arises frequently in the workplace. We have all met an office bully at some time or another. Strutting around, loud mouth, opinionated, full of bluster and of course always right. If a situation arises in which there may be (God forbid) the possibility of error – then the shouting begins and it is all YOUR FAULT. The fault cannot possibly lie with the person who is always right. He, or she, must keep control of the situation. To do otherwise is to admit a failure, an error, and this cannot be. Result is again unhappiness all round.

Relationships, relationships, relationships, it is all about relationships. Relationships should unify, not divide. Relationships should be supportive not divisive. Good relations with your family, neighbours, with your workmates, your teammates, make life so much easier. Unless the interference or attempted control is life threatening let it go through to the keeper. Don’t fight it. In the great scheme of things it is not worth a row of beans. Your happiness is worth a great deal more than some opinionated idiot. So all together now, "Treat others as you would like to be treated".

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