Why accept the bait?

We really are puzzling and in many ways, rather strange creatures – I speak for myself of course, but I believe that many people are in this situation.

For instance, why take offence, or be upset or in any way be disturbed by what someone thinks of us or says about us? What they see in us is their problem, not ours. We cannot control what people think – about us, or about anything. They happen to view the world in a certain way and if, for some reason, we don’t happen to fit into that view, into what they think we should be or do, is it really our problem? Of course not! It is their problem.

When we hear that someone has said or written something about us, to a third party, we, for some reason get upset. Why? Is it because we have our views about ourselves and anything we hear or see that is contrary to our own opinion of ourselves must jar somewhat and be unsettling?

It is almost as if someone has dangled some bait in front of us and we, without sufficient forethought, take a bite and are caught. We then cannot see anything except the bait and we cannot feel anything except the pain of the hook that we have swallowed. We then get upset and often get angry, lash out in our anguish and hurt people in what we would describe as ‘retaliation’ or ‘self-defence’. Retaliation against whom? Self defence against what? Who accepted the bait? We did! Why then get upset with ‘them’ (whoever they are) when we accepted the bait, hook, line and sinker?

Public figures have to develop thick skins and learn to accept, without significant concern, what others say about them, even though I am sure that not many really succeed in this.

We have two alternatives – accept the bait and suffer the consequences or reject the bait, turn our backs and walk away.

I am learning to use the second alternative. It is much less painful and causes me a lot less grief.

As I said at the start, we are rather strange aren’t we!

It is quite a different matter when we are treated in a certain manner, which causes physical grief and pain. That is not on and is unethical. In these cases, more often than not, we neither asked for it nor ‘accepted’ it, but had it forced on us – in a work or a domestic situation. This is then a case of violence, bullying, or other uncalled for activity and may in fact be criminal in intent.