Memories, Reminiscences and what End?

As one grows older perspectives on life seem to grow and alter with the years. As an example, I now live alone - my wife of many years has died. Does this bother me? Yes, but not as much as it might – I have always been satisfied with my own company. Do I miss her? More than I could ever explain to anyone. Have I memories? Of course I have. Do I reminisce? Yes.

All this, but there is something more, something deeper, something that is slowly approaching the forefront of my mind. It is, I suppose, more of a philosophical discussion with myself. I ask myself the questions – what is a memory, what is a reminiscence and the big one what, actually, is life? And then, what will my “end” be?

Neurologists, quantum biologists and psycho-pharmacologists all stake their claims to understanding when it comes to the brain. It has been established, beyond doubt, that neurons in different parts of the brain are activated (scanning techniques verify this) when looking at something, when listening to a sound, when thinking, remembering or problem solving. Various chemicals have been identified as “neuro-transmitters” that cross the synapses that lie between one neuron and another, which appear to be essential in the “storage” of information or interpreting what has been perceived in the environment.

BUT, and this is where I dispute the “science” of the determination that the brain is the only locus of life, thoughts and memories. For instance the question has yet to be answered – what comes first – do the thoughts and memories somehow activate the neurons in the brain, or do the neurons, by some means, create the thoughts?

AND, what is a thought, actually? What is a memory, actually? What is an emotion, actually? What is life, actually? No one knows.

So I ask myself the question, are they all just the result of chemicals in the brain, as neurologists and psycho-pharmacologists would claim? I ask the question, are they all just the  result of the activities of sub-atomic particles as quantum-biologists would claim? I ask the question, how can a chemical or chemicals in any combination, inanimate as they are, create or store a thought?  Particularly as no one knows what a thought is, actually! I ask the question, how can a chemical or chemicals in any combination, inanimate as they are, create or reflect on an emotion? Particularly as no one knows what an emotion is, actually!  I ask the question, how can a chemical or chemicals in any combination, inanimate as they are, create life? Particularly as no one knows what life is, actually!

Biologists and psycho-pharmacologists have determined the chemical constituents of a cell but no one (repeat no one) has ever come close to “creating” life in a petri dish by mixing together the known chemicals that constitute the structure of a cell.

It would appear to me that life is something above and beyond our knowledge. I have sat and held the hand of someone who is dying. I have sensed that the life force (however this is defined) has left, or withdrawn from, that person. What is it? So, again, what is it that is now absent from the body - the body that was alive and warm and is now dead and growing cold?

The cells that constituted the body of the person who has just died are identical to the cells that constituted the body of that same person the split second before they died - except that they are no longer “alive”.

I don’t suppose, or presume, that we will ever have a “scientific” answer to these fundamental questions, even though scientists try to convince us that the understanding science conveys is the only kind there is!

So I am left to my memories, reminiscences and philosophical thoughts to try and understand what will happen to me when I leave this “mortal coil”!!

I wonder if it will all end as Omar Khayyam wrote in his famous Rubaiyat?

 Quatrain 47

And if the Wine you drink, the Lip you press,

End in the Nothing all Things end in – Yes –

Then fancy while Thou art, Thou art but what

Thou shalt be – Nothing – Thou shalt not be less.

Or is there something more like this, the first verse from John Masefield’s, “A Creed”:

I held that when a person dies

His soul returns again to Earth;

Arrayed in some new flesh disguise

Another mother gives him birth.

With sturdier limbs and brighter brain

The old soul takes the roads again.

I prefer John Masefield’s version but you choose!