Courage

This is not an easy topic to write about because courage is so difficult to define. Like love, we all know what it is but we can’t define it. We all know courage when we see it but that is about all. 

Courage has no boundaries; courage has no limitations; courage knows no gender; courage knows no age limit. And above all courage is not uniquely human. All creatures display courage in their own way and I think that is wonderful.

All mothers, well generally, all mothers – from all animate life forms - will defend their young and even die in the process. But of course courage is normally associated with bravery – generally in a military situation. This however is not always the case. 

Somehow, somewhere over the years I acquired a little book called “Courage”. It is actually a verbatim record of J. M. Barrie’s 1922 inaugural speech when he was appointed Rector of the University of St Andrews, in Scotland. Barrie was a novelist and playwright who authored “Peter Pan and Wendy” amongst many others. 

In this little book, “Courage”, Barrie is recorded as speaking about Capt. Robert Falcon Scott (Scott of the Antarctic) and that tragic if glorious failure to reach the South Pole first. But it was the courage of Captain Laurence (Titus) Oates, an ex-military man, and part of Scott’s sledge team that I find very moving. Oates had badly frostbitten feet that became gangrenous, causing him pain and discomfort. He realized that he was holding back their return to base, being unable to assist in pulling the sledge. So one day he informed his companions (in words that are etched in history), “I’m just going outside. I maybe some time.” He walked out of the tent into a -40C blizzard and was never seen again.

That is courage!

Then, for me, there is a more personal example of courage. My wife, Magucha, had been ill with renal failure since before I met her. But she never, ever, complained. She never asked, “Why me?” That was never her way. For most of the 36yrs of our marriage she was in and out of hospital, more times that I can remember, and everyday she had to take a fist full of medications. These kept her alive and gave her some quality of life, but in the end the accumulation of the significant side-effects of these medications was the cause of the acute pancreatitis that was too much for her little body to bear and she died five weeks later of general organ failure.

That too, is courage! 

As always I find that poetry expresses in very few words what takes me a whole page to express. I offer this in memory of Magucha and all courageous people: 

Finis Exoptatus (a rough translation “Desired End”)

Question not, but live and labour

   Till yon goal be won,

Helping every feeble neighbour,

   Seeking help from none;

Life is mostly froth and bubble,

   Two things stand like stone,

KINDNESS in another’s trouble,

   COURAGE in your own.

                                    Adam Lindsay Gordon

Born: October 19, 1833, Faial Island, Portugal

Died: June 24, 1870, Brighton

Buried: Brighton Cemetery, Melbourne

Things that happen.

As always when I am writing I try to formulate what is in my mind. This, as anyone who has tried, is not always easy. A great deal depends on the state of my mind. Obviously.

The state of my mind is the big question. I think I am ok with that, but questions, possibly unanswerable questions keep cropping up. I know that I am still grieving, but I try not to mourn. Grieving is for me a very personal, private affair and giving “vent” to this in public, by mourning, is something I just could not and will not do.

I’ll talk about my late wife, Magucha, – yes. Whether that might be classified as mourning I’m not sure. She is still very “real” to me even though it is nearly three years since she died.

The thoughts that create questions in my mind are those, deep questions, relating to the meaning of Life (with a capital L) and what, actually, Life is. I mean is Life the result of the chance combination of molecules or bacteria? Are molecules alive? Are bacteria alive? And how can atoms (which are not considered to be alive) when in various combinations form a living organism? Can molecules, in whatever combination,  create Life, think or have emotions? 

It is inconceivable to me that all the love, emotional strength, energy, intelligence and humour, that made Magucha who she was,  her Life, have just vanished, disappeared – into what?

I have searched long and hard to try and find answers. There are none. There is still debate as to whether the Mind and the Brain are one and the same but no one, as far as I can find, has even come close to determining what Life is and how it comes about. 

So I am left with my quandary. I do however subscribe to the view that Life is a continuum. That there are germinations (births) and deaths and that this commenced when the Universe was formed and will cease – well – when it ceases.

Then there is the purpose of our, Human, lives. Things happen and it is up to each of us to learn from Life’s events and to become better people. To me, Human Life has a purpose; a higher purpose and it is up to us, individually, to find our purpose. 

And I do try.

As always I seek solace in poetry and this extract from a longer poem is as good an explanation as any.

Finis Exoptatus (a rough translation - “Desired End”)

Question not, but live and labour

   Till yon goal be won,

Helping every feeble neighbour,

   Seeking help from none;

Life is mostly froth and bubble,

   Two things stand like stone,

KINDNESS in another’s trouble,

   COURAGE in your own.

                                    Adam Lindsay Gordon

Born: October 19, 1833, Faial Island, Portugal

Died: June 24, 1870, Brighton, Victoria
Buried: Brighton Cemetery, Melbourne, Australia.