We are just sojourners.

As always at this time of year many memories come flooding in. And I know, all too well, that they do fade over time even as I grope for more clarity. They lose much of their urgency and potency. This is a blessing I believe, bestowed on us mortals, so that all our days are not darkened by grief and other past matters.

 

For this I am grateful. But, as always, there is a consequence. If I want to recall the sound of Magucha’s voice and her sometimes (deliberately) mangled English – what we all knew as “Magucha speak”; if I want to recall the sound of her infectious laugh; if I want to recall the feeling of her “pata” (Portuguese for “paw”) - what she called her little hand - as it sought mine while we walked side by side, or resting on my knee while driving. I can’t. Those memories are lost to me now. 

 

But then, and maybe this is a good thing, I now can’t recall the sound of her angry voice either! Magucha had a quick fire Portuguese (Latin) temperament and was not easily crossed. And she didn’t mind who knew it!!

 

Also it matters not who we are, what we do or where we live, we are all, I do believe, just sojourners in this place. Or, if you prefer, wayfarers, on our journey through life.  

 

We meet wonderful people, as sojourners or wayfarers, and maybe fall in love and marry, as I did – rather, as we did - Magucha and I. For in us all there is a hunger for love, there is also pity in love, there is a power in love but also in a strange way, a kind of fear. To love someone needs courage. What will love bring? That is the unknown and the unknowable. Life is a grand adventure for the heart (always thought of as the seat of Love and many other emotions) but the end and what that entails is the mystery. I, however, also believe that love is eternal and is beyond knowing.

 

Behind all this philosophical conjecture the perennial, perplexing, questions remain – what is it that is present when someone or something is alive but absent when that same person or something dies? And why? What is the purpose of Life? We will never know of course, as it is beyond our understanding but, and I repeat but, I cannot believe that Life (however defined) appeared, ab initio, from stardust.

 

If, as is postulated, Life – or the bacteria from which Life, as we know it, is believed to have evolved – was deposited, carried by stardust, on the newly formed planet Earth over 3 billion years ago, the question remains, where did THAT bacteria come from?

 

I think I have always been an optimistic person and never been cast down for too long. Always have I tried to greet what Life has dealt me with a “what now?” rather that a  “why me?” It seems to work. For me at least. But sometimes it is hard. 

 

I have dreams and I can dream, can’t I, that in the “undiscovered country” to which we will all eventually travel, I will, again, see those whom I have loved? 

 

So, as always, it is poetry that I turn to for solace or, maybe, a better way to express the way I feel. Therefore, with no excuse or apology I offer the following by Max Ehrmann.  He, I do believe, must have experienced deep grief to write something as poignant as this:-

The Dead Wife

 

O thou whose lips I’ve pressed in hush of night,

Whose tiny hand has trembled in my own

Beneath the talking boughs the wind has blown,

Hid snuggly from the evening’s starry light –

O thou, my all, why hast thou quit my sight?

Thy straggling curls will no more touch my cheek,

Thy voice and smile are gone where’er I seek

With my watchful eyes and my strong passion’s might.

If all my soul’s deep grief thou now dost see,

If thou dost know the lonely inward tears

My heart hath shed along the saddened years,

Break through thy silent doors to life and me,

Who hourly watch and wait with trembling fears,

Lest in the realm of death I know not thee.

Israel, Gaza and superbugs.

The Middle East is currently in a diplomatic mess. Particularly the Gaza – Israeli crisis. And it is a crisis. The Israelis say its all the Palestinians fault that there is a blockade of Gaza. The Israelis need to stop attacks on Israel. Fair comment! But what the Israelis forget, or ignore, is that some Palestinian families still have the keys to the houses they were forced to leave (without compensation) in 1948, when the State of Israel was formed. 

This injustice, and it is an injustice, being forced to leave your land and house without compensation, has been seared deep into the Palestinian psyche. All the Palestinians want in their land back. Instead they were told, “invited”, to move to Gaza, or be forcibly moved there. So the Palestinians, as they have done for 70 years, are trying, by any means to get the Israelis to agree to a solution, even the least worst option of a “Two State” country. 

This, “two state” possible solution, is anathema to the hard line parties in the Israeli parliament that will not budge – Israel belongs to the Jews according to Biblical records; it is a God given land, and so it will remain!  

So Gaza is now the most densely populated place on earth with its infrastructure largely destroyed by Israel. Normal standards of hygiene are impossible to achieve. Water and sewage treatment is largely non-existent. It is on record that untreated wastewater has now seeped into the aquifer that is drawn on by Egypt, Lebanon and Jordan.  Hospitals are unable to obtain enough drugs and medications to effectively treat the many wounded by the Israeli air attacks.  

The result? An alarming increase in the incidence of antibiotic resistant superbugs. The trouble is this Genie is now well and truly out of the bottle and can never be put back. Superbugs are spread very easily and Gaza shares borders with Israel and Egypt – admittedly heavily controlled and fortified border crossings. But people move, crossing those border every day and will carry the bacteria on their clothes, shoes, on their skin, even up their nose. 

These superbugs will spread worldwide. Their movement is now unstoppable. 

Remember the old tale about the horseshoe nail? “For want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; for want of a horse the battle was lost; for want of a battle the Kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horse shoe nail.” 

This still holds true. Inaction and intransigence on resolving a 70 years old injustice will cause problems for us all.

Things that happen.

As always when I am writing I try to formulate what is in my mind. This, as anyone who has tried, is not always easy. A great deal depends on the state of my mind. Obviously.

The state of my mind is the big question. I think I am ok with that, but questions, possibly unanswerable questions keep cropping up. I know that I am still grieving, but I try not to mourn. Grieving is for me a very personal, private affair and giving “vent” to this in public, by mourning, is something I just could not and will not do.

I’ll talk about my late wife, Magucha, – yes. Whether that might be classified as mourning I’m not sure. She is still very “real” to me even though it is nearly three years since she died.

The thoughts that create questions in my mind are those, deep questions, relating to the meaning of Life (with a capital L) and what, actually, Life is. I mean is Life the result of the chance combination of molecules or bacteria? Are molecules alive? Are bacteria alive? And how can atoms (which are not considered to be alive) when in various combinations form a living organism? Can molecules, in whatever combination,  create Life, think or have emotions? 

It is inconceivable to me that all the love, emotional strength, energy, intelligence and humour, that made Magucha who she was,  her Life, have just vanished, disappeared – into what?

I have searched long and hard to try and find answers. There are none. There is still debate as to whether the Mind and the Brain are one and the same but no one, as far as I can find, has even come close to determining what Life is and how it comes about. 

So I am left with my quandary. I do however subscribe to the view that Life is a continuum. That there are germinations (births) and deaths and that this commenced when the Universe was formed and will cease – well – when it ceases.

Then there is the purpose of our, Human, lives. Things happen and it is up to each of us to learn from Life’s events and to become better people. To me, Human Life has a purpose; a higher purpose and it is up to us, individually, to find our purpose. 

And I do try.

As always I seek solace in poetry and this extract from a longer poem is as good an explanation as any.

Finis Exoptatus (a rough translation - “Desired End”)

Question not, but live and labour

   Till yon goal be won,

Helping every feeble neighbour,

   Seeking help from none;

Life is mostly froth and bubble,

   Two things stand like stone,

KINDNESS in another’s trouble,

   COURAGE in your own.

                                    Adam Lindsay Gordon

Born: October 19, 1833, Faial Island, Portugal

Died: June 24, 1870, Brighton, Victoria
Buried: Brighton Cemetery, Melbourne, Australia.

How human are we - actually?

What does this mean? Take bacteria for instance. They “work” in a symbiotic relationship with all life forms. To understand the significance of this we’ll need to go back in time – just a tad. Like three billion years (3 billion years) to when there were no recognizable life forms on earth, only a primordial ocean “soup”. Simply put, this soup contained a huge variety of bacteria (never mind where they came from – no one really knows).

Now, return to present times and follow me – it was from out of that primordial “soup” that life (as we understand it) developed. Furthermore – just to put things in perspective – the human body consists of somewhere between 30 and 80 trillion cells (no one is quite sure – it depends on the method of measurement used – volume or weight). But the number of bacteria in the human gut exceeds this by a ratio variously estimated at about 3:1. That’s right, there are estimated to be about 3 times more gut bacteria than cells in our body. Similarly, while the human genome has about 20 000 genes the gut biome has many, many times this – variously estimated at about 150 times this number.

Never forget, too, that we rely on out gut bacteria for our nutrition. Furthermore many different chemicals such as the brain chemical serotonin and many enzymes are produced in our gut. In fact without our gut bacteria we wouldn’t survive. They help digest everything we eat by reducing it to an easily absorbed form, which is then transferred to our blood affecting not only our metabolism but also our moods. 

But the bacteria need us too – to feed them!

So now, because of the symbiotic relationship between us and them (and don't forget we are inextricably linked to all the Earth’s life forms through our bacterial ancestry) consider this scenario:-

Bacteria were here first – we (and all life forms) developed from the original primordial bacterial soup. Therefore, are we just a useful host for bacteria to live in – in our case, our gut biome (recall, there are more of them than cells in our body)? Remember also they get fed at regular intervals, interact with us via the vagus nerve – which connects the gut with the brain (in fact our gut may be considered our “second” brain as there are about 150 million neurons lining the intestines). This “communication”, travelling both ways along the vagus nerve, tells the brain “I’m hungry” or “I’m full” or “I don’t feel well” and then there is that mysterious “gut feeling” that “tells” us to do or not do something. Increasingly researchers are discovering links between our gut bacteria and our general health - physical, emotional and mental.

The food we eat affects our gut bacteria (negatively or positively) and in doing so, they affect our health and our moods (also negatively or positively).

So, how human are we - actually?