Attitudes

About six years ago I used to help transport a lady confined to a wheelchair; she had MS. She also had a daughter of about twelve years old. Now this lady (and I am being generous when I use the term lady) was obviously frustrated about her condition and relative immobility because I have never met a person so consumed with anger, nor a person so lacking in consideration for others. And her language left a lot to be desired.

This woman (note the change of term) considered both myself and her daughter as her slaves. We were supposed to be at her beck and call. Now I was paid for the task of transporting her wherever she wanted to go but her daughter HAD to help because of DUTY. She was told, in my presence that she (the mother) had a difficult birth with the daughter and had spent thousands of dollars on her clothes, education etc, so it was her OBLIGATION to help her mother. There was no display of love or affection towards the daughter. No tender words of appreciation; no thank you; nothing. I don’t know what excuses the woman gave to the Education Department but whenever I was called to transport her, the daughter was there too. I managed to speak to the daughter on her own a couple of times and she told me that she was not at all happy with her situation. It was beginning to overwhelm her. All she wanted to be was a child – to go to school and play with her friends.

I would be interested to know what happened to them as the daughter was a very nice young girl, who will need much care in the future if she is not to turn out an angry and bitter young woman. In the end the woman’s never ending unpleasantness, appalling language and her continued abuse of my time and services – I was never good enough etc, etc, just wore me down and I refused to transport her anymore. Her abusive behaviour towards her daughter used to grate on me as well.

I tell the story, above, to contrast with another woman (this one to my mind actually is a lady) who also has MS – my wife and I often see her at the supermarket and traveling around the suburb on her motorised wheel chair. Now she also has a daughter, this one would be about eight years old. The difference is that the help this daughter gives her mother is with love, not obligation. They are obviously very fond of each other and there is real friendship between mother and daughter. This sort of love is a pleasure to behold because it is genuine and from the heart. Her daughter is young enough and small enough to get a ‘lift’ on the motorised wheel chair and we have seen the pair of them scooting all over the place.

Now while I only know these people superficially, their apparently different attitudes towards their similar debilitating disease is very telling. One was incredibly negative, angry and not at all happy with her lot, while the other appears to have a more positive attitude and this shows in the happy relationship she has with her daughter and shop attendants. I can tell you which one I would prefer to help!!