“But he is a good boy.”

Have you ever wondered how it is that a mother of a boy, or a man, who has committed a serious crime and been convicted and sentenced, can still say of her son “but he is a good boy?” (I speak here of sons as they are far more likely to commit serious crimes than daughters).

I believe that a woman’s insight, or intuition, (and I have a great deal of respect for female intuition), especially if that woman is a mother, is more often than not proved right. Women, in my experience, are more likely to see the ‘essence’ of someone, particularly someone they love. They have an intuitive ‘knowledge’ that their son – no matter what he has or has not done – is still in his deep hearts core a ‘good person’ – still a ‘good boy’!

And this I believe.

I think I can safely say that we all do (or have done) strange, dangerous, even criminal things at times – things which at the time seemed ‘logical’ or ‘fun’ or that were instigated by peer pressure or to gain the ‘respect’ of someone we admire – which we may later regret. Things done, which on reflection may be seen to be foolish or ill judged. Even so our mother’s still love us (I hope).
This is not just a case of a mother being blinded from the truth by love – I sincerely believe that mothers in this regard are correct.

At their core all people are ‘good’; we all want to be liked; to be respected and to be loved. No one ever (and I mean ever) sets out to do something ‘bad’. There is always some perceived advantage, gain or benefit to the perpetrator (even if it is ‘anti-social’ as in theft, physical violence, fraud etc) – otherwise why do it?

As I say all people are basically good. It is just that this basic ‘goodness’ gets overlaid by their ego, by their ideas and especially by their perception of the world as influenced by their education, their upbringing and their life experience. If this is all negative and the person concerned, the son, is becoming anti-social and their ideas about what is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ are different from yours or mine, or what is considered ‘normal’, then steps need to be taken to correct this and to make them aware of the consequences. This is a case for education not necessarily prison.

But the mother is still correct - it is just that her boy got mixed up with the wrong crowd and has been influenced by the wrong person – but he is still a ‘good boy’.