Ordinary things

When I write, which I enjoy, I write mainly for myself. I write to clarify my thoughts about something I have read, that I heard about or something I was told.
Often what people tell me – particularly my wife – may turn out to be a ‘home truth’. Now a ‘home truth’, like all of what people say about someone else, is just an opinion or a judgement, often based on limited information.

Some people are greatly offended by ‘home truths’, and yet, apart from an opinion a home truth may be nothing but a self evident fact or a trait, or something else that in some way irritates the observer, the teller of the ‘home truth’. But it is their ‘truth’, not yours.

One partner in a marriage, or someone at work may say to the other, “you are always so untidy,” or “once you start something you never seem to finish it.” This may, or may not be a fact – as the observer sees it. Yet there is always a reason – either the person complained about has different priorities, lacks the necessary skills and does not want to admit it, or has been distracted. There is always a reason which is why a ‘home truth’ is not always valid.

If a ‘home truth’ does hurt it may well draw attention to something which you acknowledge in yourself – for instance that you lack consideration for others (your untidiness), or that you have never been persistent in your endeavours and have never finished anything you started (laziness??). You may acknowledge the veracity of the ‘truth’ but be unwilling to accept it because it does not match your idea about yourself and the image you seek to portray to the world. That is why it is uncomfortable or why it hurts.

The other thing about ‘home truths’ is that they are just opinions and opinions are notoriously unreliable. They depend on the mood, at the time, of the opinionated; on that person’s outlook on life; their education, life experience and so on – generally not reliable indicators of a ‘truth’, home or otherwise.

We make judgements and assumptions based on sometimes very limited information.