Why we do things

We all want to be liked don’t we? We like to ‘get on’ with our fellow beings. Particularly close relations. Sometimes though we seem to take a perverse delight in annoying or disagreeing with one particular person – shall we pick on mothers-in-law? Now I get on quite well with mine, actually. If she has a go at me I have learned over the years to just switch off and peace, or at least some sort of truce, is maintained this way.

Now, as I was saying (before I got diverted by thoughts of my mother-in-law) we all liked to be liked or respected or admired in one way or another. No one likes to be ‘put down’ all the time. There may however be a conflict of interest at times. Take this morning for instance. In Perth it was a very cold if brilliantly clear 4 or 5 deg C, and there was I, at 8.30am on a Sunday morning, hanging out my grand-daughters clothes to dry on the line – and there seemed a mountain of them. My hands were freezing from handling the wet material. This was not what I would have chosen to do so why was I there? Was it because of a sense of duty? – my wife had arranged to go to church with a friend and was away from the house. Was it because I wanted to be liked by my daughter and to help her? – we are very close as it is and I have no need to ‘prove’ my love for her or to do anything to gain her love. Was it because I seek my grand-daughters love? – not at all, I love them regardless and they are too young to be able to express such fine emotional concepts but they seem to like me anyway.

So why was I there when I would rather be doing my own thing? After some thought about it (and partly because while writing this piece ideas arise) I think it is because I want to feel good about myself. Of course I love my daughter and grand-daughters; of course I have a sense of duty; but more than anything I want to like myself and do the ‘right thing’. That is what is ‘right’ for me. If I had not hung the clothes I would have felt uncomfortable all day – knowing that there was something that had to be done and I ‘failed’ in acknowledging my inner ‘urging’ to do what was necessary and so feel good within myself.

I suppose it is also an ethical thing – helping someone as I would (in similar circumstances) like to be helped (my son-in-law is in the process of repairing their washing-machine). But it is also because of love for my daughter and her family; and love for my wife – saving her from the task when she returned from church.

So there you have it – my good deed for the day! Now I must go and hang our washing (out of necessity) – because my wife has not yet returned from church.

A man’s work is never done!!